Whether we accept it or not, we are currently being influenced by the things we have believed. The import of this statement might not mean much to you, until you examine it carefully. We are all a product of our conditioning and scripting. Life has written us a script, and for as long as we are not conscious of this, we are mere pawns in the grand chess game of life.
The story is told of elephants in captivity. Get a baby elephant tied to a tree in such a way that it can only roam for as far as the length of the rope. It will try hard in it’s early years to break away, but by and buy, it will grow to know it’s own limitations. After a while it will no longer try to move beyond the circle that the ropes length provides a radius for. Even after the rope is removed from it’s neck, it still stays within that circle. Why? It has been conditioned to believe that it has limits. And even when it becomes set free in the body, it still has to still be set free in the mind. There are three significant stages in human development, between the ages of 0-5 is the age of why? This is the time where you are inquisitive, and ask questions to simply to know. Why is mummy’s stomach big? Why? The next stage is between 5-18, this is the age of why not? At this age, you clearly understand why, but you are thinking why not? This is the age when you test the limits, daddy says don’t, you ask why not? This is the stage where we are formed, where we are conditioned and put in our various boxes :). The next age after this, is the age of most of us 🙂 18-death, it’s called the age of because. Now we know why, why not and can explain it away. We are set. If it doesn’t look like what we used to know, it’s wrong, bad, negative, evil or questionable. We can simply explain all things away… it’s because. The question I am about to ask today, is simply, “who have you believed?”
While we cannot take ourselves to our past, we can at least pick out the phrases that have conditioned us, deal with them, and move ahead. You need to attack the fabrics of your life, the foundation of that beautiful edifice that you are building – your life! The storms of life will come, and when they come, they will hit hard on your foundation. This is an opportunity to understand what you have believed that makes you weak, and to work on it.
In those formative years of our lives, there are two sets of people that were responsible for forming our life scripts. Some of them, you shouldn’t have believed. They are out of your life now, but their messages ring through your head like they were yours. You need to fish out those phrases, and dispossess yourself of them. I really can’t exhaust them in an article, I’m only hoping that someone reads this, and gets a good start towards metamorphosing from an ugly caterpillar into the beautiful butterfly that you were created to be.These two sets of people are your close family members and your teachers.
1. Family – Some parents have permanently (thankfully not) damaged the lives of their children. { Oponu, Oloshi, Elede, Omugo, Didinrin, “You are a fool”, “idiot”, e.t.c.}Words are the strongest conditioners in the world, and some parents have used it recklessly. The Yoruba’s are king at this, they have words that can literally slow down your development. Some outrightly curse their children, some use classifying words that mean stupid, dumb, lacking initiative, being slow, e.t.c. These words settle in, and many of us have built our lives on them. For some it has been intimidation, some others fear! Some parents and close family -uncles and aunts have intimidated some of us to the point that today, we still look down even when we know what we are saying is correct. Some have been outrightly abused, and feel that no matter how high they rise or how old they grow, they are still less that best. Some are permanently on the defensive, some don’t think they can amount to much…find out your conditioning and begin to counter condition yourself, with positive affirmations and deliberate actions.
2. Teachers – Teachers are such a blessing. They are assigned to us to expand our minds, show us the world on the platform of other people’s experiences. To lead us into the doorway of knowledge, to throw light along our paths. Teachers are important – at heart, I’m largely one. Teachers however, because of the great responsibility they have in their hands, have also been instrumental in destroying lives with negative conditioning. I remember a teacher in my secondary school then, who when you told him you don’t understand, will reply -“you will never understand”. Another will tell you that your head is big for nothing :). These are not the major issues, the major ones are those report sheets from primary school. Those have a firmer print. Your parents read them and believe them. “He is slow”, “He doesn’t pay attention”, “He is overconfident”, “She is a talkative”, e.t.c.
A combination of these sets are also responsible for our larger picture on life. Let’s examine some typical conditionings.
– Go to school study hard, get a good grade and get a good job.
– Marry when you are over 30 and have a lot of money
– It’s prestigious to be a doctor, an engineer, A lawyer or an accountant, everything else is if you can’t get these.
– Don’t be a teacher, teachers are poorly paid
– Start your business when you are over 50, you will be retiring early and you will have money, you won’t need to suffer.
– If the Job is paying well, go for it.
– The only thing you can do when you finish from school is to start roaming the streets and applying for jobs.
– To start your own business someday, you must first do well in school, work for some multinational company, and when you have gained solid experience and have a financial backbone, resign and start.
– If I get all the money I need, I can start doing the things I love.
– You can’t start business without capital.
– Borrowing money is not the best.
What do you think? If you agree with any of these, you are wrong! Be young again, test those limits, ask why, then ask why not. I’m looking forward to writing again on my response to these statements above. Set yourself free… the rope was removed 5yrs ago, and you are still moving within they circle. Step out today!
