Monday , 21 August 2017
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Who have you believed?

Whether we accept it or not, we are currently being influenced by the things we have believed. The import of this statement might not mean much to you, until you examine it carefully. We are all a product of our conditioning and scripting. Life has written us a script, and for as long as we are not conscious of this, we are mere pawns in the grand chess game of life.

The story is told of elephants in captivity. Get a baby elephant tied to a tree in such a way that it can only roam for as far as the length of the rope. It will try hard in it’s early years to break away, but by and buy, it will grow to know it’s own limitations. After a while it will no longer try to move beyond the circle that the ropes length provides a radius for. Even after the rope is removed from it’s neck, it still stays within that circle. Why? It has been conditioned to believe that it has limits. And even when it becomes set free in the body, it still has to still be set free in the mind. There are three significant stages in human development, between the ages of 0-5 is the age of why? This is the time where you are inquisitive, and ask questions to simply to know. Why is mummy’s stomach big? Why? The next stage is between 5-18, this is the age of why not? At this age, you clearly understand why, but you are thinking why not? This is the age when you test the limits, daddy says don’t, you ask why not? This is the stage where we are formed, where we are conditioned and put in our various boxes :). The next age after this, is the age of most of us 🙂 18-death, it’s called the age of because. Now we know why, why not and can explain it away. We are set. If it doesn’t look like what we used to know, it’s wrong, bad, negative, evil or questionable. We can simply explain all things away… it’s because. The question I am about to ask today, is simply, “who have you believed?”

While we cannot take ourselves to our past, we can at least pick out the phrases that have conditioned us, deal with them, and move ahead. You need to attack the fabrics of your life, the foundation of that beautiful edifice that you are building – your life! The storms of life will come, and when they come, they will hit hard on your foundation. This is an opportunity to understand what you have believed that makes you weak, and to work on it.

In those formative years of our lives, there are two sets of people that were responsible for forming our life scripts. Some of them, you shouldn’t have believed. They are out of your life now, but their messages ring through your head like they were yours. You need to fish out those phrases, and dispossess yourself of them. I really can’t exhaust them in an article, I’m only hoping that someone reads this, and gets a good start towards metamorphosing from an ugly caterpillar into the beautiful butterfly that you were created to be.These two sets of people are your close family members and your teachers.

1. Family – Some parents have permanently (thankfully not) damaged the lives of their children. { Oponu, Oloshi, Elede, Omugo, Didinrin, “You are a fool”, “idiot”, e.t.c.}Words are the strongest conditioners in the world, and some parents have used it recklessly. The Yoruba’s are king at this, they have words that can literally slow down your development. Some outrightly curse their children, some use classifying words that mean stupid, dumb, lacking initiative, being slow, e.t.c. These words settle in, and many of us have built our lives on them. For some it has been intimidation, some others fear! Some parents and close family -uncles and aunts have intimidated some of us to the point that today, we still look down even when we know what we are saying is correct. Some have been outrightly abused, and feel that no matter how high they rise or how old they grow, they are still less that best. Some are permanently on the defensive, some don’t think they can amount to much…find out your conditioning and begin to counter condition yourself, with positive affirmations and deliberate actions.

2. Teachers – Teachers are such a blessing. They are assigned to us to expand our minds, show us the world on the platform of other people’s experiences. To lead us into the doorway of knowledge, to throw light along our paths. Teachers are important – at heart, I’m largely one. Teachers however, because of the great responsibility they have in their hands, have also been instrumental in destroying lives with negative conditioning. I remember a teacher in my secondary school then, who when you told him you don’t understand, will reply -“you will never understand”. Another will tell you that your head is big for nothing :). These are not the major issues, the major ones are those report sheets from primary school. Those have a firmer print. Your parents read them and believe them. “He is slow”, “He doesn’t pay attention”, “He is overconfident”, “She is a talkative”, e.t.c.

A combination of these sets are also responsible for our larger picture on life. Let’s examine some typical conditionings.

– Go to school study hard, get a good grade and get a good job.

– Marry when you are over 30 and have a lot of money

– It’s prestigious to be a doctor, an engineer, A lawyer or an accountant, everything else is if you can’t get these.

– Don’t be a teacher, teachers are poorly paid

– Start your business when you are over 50, you will be retiring early and you will have money, you won’t need to suffer.

– If the Job is paying well, go for it.

– The only thing you can do when you finish from school is to start roaming the streets and applying for jobs.

– To start your own business someday, you must first do well in school, work for some multinational company, and when you have gained solid experience and have a financial backbone, resign and start.

– If I get all the money I need, I can start doing the things I love.

– You can’t start business without capital.

– Borrowing money is not the best.

What do you think? If you agree with any of these, you are wrong! Be young again, test those limits, ask why, then ask why not. I’m looking forward to writing again on my response to these statements above. Set yourself free… the rope was removed 5yrs ago, and you are still moving within they circle. Step out today!

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26 comments

  1. Hi Deolu,

    Hummm, Oro agba! God bless u for this inspiring thought. this is the disease that is worrying majority of us. We all believed we can’t do it or it’s not possible just because we are afraid of failure.

    Imagine you, working for people for 50 years before you now start your own, where is the potential to use for your own? after your brain must have been worn out. Or waitng until you could gather some money to start your own business in this country. (Eni ‘ba woseju Akan ni…..).

    Thanks Deolu.

    Please I’ve not received my April Recharge until now.

  2. This is really motivational.A lot of lives/destinies have actually been caged by the words they received right from infancy and this has continued to slow their progress.
    This is very good for the present day youth.
    Kudos Deolu

  3. Another master-piece from the chairman himself.

    God bless you sir for this wonderful piece.

    I’m priviledged to be exposed to a mentor that showed me the essence of this write-up very early in life. Prior to which time I have believed that people of certain colours, creeds, upbringings,… are always better than me. But since that encounter with my mentor, I have learnt to break out of my shells and take any challenge that comes my way in good stride.

    One meets different people carrying heavy burdens of feelings of inadequacy on a daily basis. And it can be disheartening!

    We must all get to the point where we realise we are unique and that we hold solutions to some peoples’ problems.

    Many people today are led into a defeated and poor life because they believed WHO they had no business believing. And some are even led into crime.

    Whose report will you believe?

    As for me… I believe the report of the LORD!

  4. Hello Deolu
    This piece is a huge chunk of truth. Even I who thought I understood the subject have been impacted quite a bit by the contents of your article. It has been such a blessing (such an education as well I must say!!!!!). Quite a relief too to be reading something different. All I have to say is ……………………THANK YOU.

  5. thanks deolu for this write up,i was beginning to think your site was all about HYIP’s but now i know.keep up the good work!

  6. It’s refreshing the theme of your reflection today, it’s a proof of the fact that the seven digit figures you earn are not necessarily out of hard labour, but more of brain work, which the scenes that you paint of many homes, erode at the growing stages of the Nigerian child.

    I wish a lot more youth would also pull themselves up by the bootstrap rather than wallow in self-pity. They surely will get more help that way.

  7. Inspirational… as usual, always thinking out of the box!

  8. Deolu,

    Well done!!! you’ve said it all,those are the things they’ve condition our life to since infancy.But it take courage and have strong inner will,can do attitude to over come those limit our family and the society has set for us.

    I can do all things through Christ that strenghtens me.The clarion call to all of us in this forum is to educate/enlighten others especially the young ones,let tell them they can be whatever they want to be,they can achieve greatness in life.

    We can spread the gospel far and wide and let remove the limitation the society place on all us and we shall be better for it.

    Deolu as I concluded in my last post on RT/6K4you – You have no limit!!! may be that’s what even prompted you to give us this wonderful one,God bless every step you take.

  9. Deolu,

    This is very very inspirational!!!

    You i decided lately that i will decide what happens to me and not what people say. i realised great men don’t allow peoples opinion affect them.

    Thanks once again!!!

  10. Deolu,
    Well done,
    I’ve been silent for a while but I’ve got to say you just x-rayed the mental fabric that constitute our individuality in this society.
    I’ve come to discover that you say what you believe & that in turn determines the course of your life. I believe that one can really reprogram his personality no matter what might have been “sown” into ones heart in the past..
    Keep up the good work bro

  11. I cant agree more Deolu, and i hav ample experience with much of the issues raised.

    I was always taught by my late dad that education is key……good grades are a must (must come 1st always)…..study a professional course (Med., Engr. etc)……..but right from my days in med. sch. (in Ibadan) i realised that we were not being prepared for the challenges of the ‘real world’

    Hence i was always conscious of this and resorted to divesting my energies into various extra-curricular activities that bother on building proper leadership qualities…..

    Cld u believe that whenever we approached many of the consultants in UCH for support for any of our programmes, their response was that it seemed we hav ample time for “non-essentials” instead of reading our ‘books’…….they wld see to it that the academic curriculum is revised to allow less time for such ‘rubbish’….some go the whole lenght of noting our names for ‘the kill’ on exam day!

    i’m glad we weathered the storm and some of us are still keeping the flame on and making the best use of our talents.

    It was really wonderful meeting you Deolu…and an even more wonderful coincidence that you’reclose (i mean related) to some of my good friends, colleagues and mentor (Akinyemi Ojesina).

    Look forward to having a closer relationship with someone like you….following the principle of the story of ‘the flying Geese’

  12. ADIELE NDUNUJU C.

    Deolu,
    Your write ups are really educating and encouraging.Infact i strongly agree with you on this that what you are moulded of determines what you become in life. If you start believing from your childhood days that it is hard to make it in life, one may never make it at all. But on the other hand when one believes that he must make it despite the odds of life he surely does.
    Please keep the good work going.
    Cheers.

  13. brilliant piece!most of us need this than dare admit.these are issues that shape and define our life to a particular point. somewhere along the journey, we choose how we want the story to end. our yesterdays does not have too much authority on our tommorrows, unless we give it. in between the journey between our past and future, is a junction-choice

  14. i call you living water,.it only water that dose not have enemies,wisdom is power,knowledge and understading is the blessing of the holy spirit,and almight GOD has put all this in you,he who the son of man is bless indeed is bless,you are bless and highly favour in your thought,

    i want to say thank you and your message will reach all over the earth in christ jesus Amen,

    DESTINY CAN NOT BE CHANGE NOT EVEN GOD HIMSELF CAN CHANGE IT.

    WHAT EVER HE SAY HE WILL DO.

    THANK YOU.

  15. to olalekan oke,i am a medical doctor too,u can say it again,the medical schools and most universities in nigeria do not prepare you for the real world in nigeria or anywhere else.what do u think our generation can do to help those coming behind.
    in life,many other things matter apart from academics.

  16. Deolu,

    dat’s deep,
    i have met too many people who are tied down in life by chains of wicked words spoken by those who should have liberated them through the same means.

    i just feel we also need to highlight wat exactly should be said to children(ours) and proteges in this age and time such that rather than build for them a mind set we can expose them to unlimited possibilities they can lay hold on by harnessing the unlimited potentials they possess.

    people need to know exactly what words build, since all they have ever known is words that destroy.

    Pls is there going to be a mentoring session this sunday? I can’t wait for another

  17. deolu,

    lovely thoughts there. and i appreciate Busayo’s comments on the fact that a knowledge of these things should shape our attitudes different,and give us a sense of responsibility towards our children & the generations after us.

    Well,i’m a “doctor from uch”, too, & while i fully agree with the fact that our much esteemed rigorous courses of training really do not prepare us at all for the essentials of life, I hope we do not become too comfortable blaming our failures in life (so far)on the mistakes [deeds or omissions] of figures in our past. let’s not get too comfortable looking for people to blame our problems on. that’s very tempting to our nature as humans,you know. We should address whatever we discover mainly with a view to changing what may have been faulty patterns of thinking, & inaccurate approaches to life.no matter what may have gone wrong…we have the privilege AND responsibility to pick ourselves up and blaze a new tomorrow.

    God help us all. thanks again for this,Deolu! appreciate you.

  18. Powerful words well delivered by the Motivator yet again.

    After reading ur post I reflected back into my life and realized the true meaning of the message.

    I can almost remember every word of encouragement and discouragement and beliefs learned from Family and friends that have affected my own lifestyle.

    It’s true that every1 has to learn to deal with these CONDITIONS to move ahead.

    Keep up the excellent work Deolu.

  19. ronke gbadegesin

    great thoughts Deolu,

    After reading through your script i was close to tears but thankful for the fact that it was not too late then when i realize my mistakes,and quickly break my self from that chain and reshape my life which i thank God for his mercy on me.because my mother was just too protective over me has her first child i felt she was too hard on me then, it was the age of why not? as you mentioned in your write up i decided to question her actions and she was like (to ba tase fere lodun kan ole mari mu le mi mo ooo) that statement really affected me in live but thank God for my life today.
    I also appreciate Olurotimi’s contribution that we should not become too comfortable blaming our failures in life on the mistakes we have made ,my own point is that we should not allow are past to hurt us so that we can move on in life and work toward a better future,since we can’t prevent what we can’t predict.and God as already design our lives he uses those people as director and they are human even if they do more than this what will be must surely be.
    deolu you are just too good the sky is your limit.God bless you looking forward to read more …..

  20. I was actually surfing the net looking 4 jobs when I stumbled on dis article, well yea I now you’re right, very right am sure am not the only person dat knows u are right actually a lot of us know u r right but d issue is what happens where d conditoning is so ingrained dat ur mind is blocked to every other possibility, picture this a man buys a fairly used car and parks it in his garage for decades and then he decides he wants to take it out for a spin I assure u dat if d car is in any condition close to good he will at best only be able to jump start it after hours of pushing and even with dat d car wont go far. if it’s going to be in d condition I believe it will be den d engine, wheels and some other parts will hav to be pulled apart. Now imagine dis happening to a human mind, assuming the human consents, can we create an enabling environment for an overhauling of the mind to take place?

    P.S. Am sorry for sounding a lil’ bit pessimistic am just trying to show that its not as easy as u make it look. Am also trying to work myself out of this rut.

  21. @ Sogo,

    I think the first step is actually deciding wether it’s easy or not would not be a factor limiting you from giving your life a chance.

    Nothing is easy, we only do what we have to do. Just this afternoon my wife asked me if I was scared about a project I was working on, I told her the truth. I’m always scared, I just don’t allow it to affect my judgment.

    We shouldn’t make it easy for ourselves to accept failure, no one else is responsible for our failure or success.

  22. I just read this post now even though it has been posted long time ago and i am really blessed. God bless you.

    I have determined this year to read every of your old posts.

    Thank you.

  23. DEOLU,
    I hate to sound like an American,
    but………….
    NUFF SAID.
    NUFF LEARNT.
    YOU’RE DA MAN!!!

  24. boy! this is supposed to take people from their comfort zones. the kind of slavery privalent in our world today is not the one whereby chains re used to tie the hands of the slaves but slavery of the mind! the first is better because you can look for the key and unlock the chain while the latter is worse because how can you unlock? what we need in our country are teaching and reorientation that should change our mindsets from the conventional way of thinking. may God help each and every one of us.

  25. Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Thank You Very Much for writing this
    Thank GOD i was able to read these conveniently and i think they’ve really sink into my head,heart, mind and other place it need to be…. I will Be young again, test those limits, ask why, then ask why not.

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