One of the strongest revelations I walk with is understanding that the fear of extremes makes us mediocre. People regularly live less than their potentials, because of a dread of the worst. What if I fail? What if I die? What if my good name is dragged in the mud? What if I make a fool of myself? Unwilling to think deeply about the worst, men and women condemn themselves to an average low impact existence. No books are written about them, no quotes to their name, their fear of failure got them eventually the same fate with all, death, but meaningless lives.
I have learnt to always confront my worst possibilities? I resigned from paid employment 4yrs ago with clarity about the question, what if I fail? My answer was that should I fail, I would send my family to my parents or theirs, I will stay around in Lagos for a little longer and work my butts off, if all still fails, I will go back to the village and get involved in farming! I grew up learning to farm, and I know that on the farm you are not likely to die of hunger, and once there is life, there is hope 
. I have a colleague that told me his own worst case scenario was that he’ll become a driver – since he loves to drive. What I have learnt is that except you are willing to ask yourself mind boggling questions, you will not make mind boggling progress. Those who go very high in life, are those who have dealt with the fear of falling. What if you fail?
Freedom stems from confronted fears. Your bounce and stride changes when you know the implications of the worst and you have come to live with it. If the answer is devastating, then you must change your circumstances. No human being is choiceless, we can change our current circumstances and ensure that the worst is not so bad. Here are a few questions you need to have answers to.
What if you lose your job?
Do you have clear answers? Will you be in deep trouble? Do you have a back up plan? Is there anything else you have been doing by the side, that just needs more time commitment? Will you be stranded? Will your employer take your car and empty your living room? Will there be a kobo left in your bank account? Will your family suffer? What will you do if you lose your job today? Face that question squarely and give yourself options. Don’t waste today, answer that question now!
What if you are without a job for a while?
Can you survive without a salary for 12 weeks? Can you survive for 24? 52 weeks? How long can you survive without salary income? What options do you have? What skill do you have? What can you do to support your family? What is the worst that can happen?
What if you take a risk and lose?
How much will you really have lost? If you lose in a business venture, is it really a total loss? How much really would you have lost, and what lessons would you have gained? What will you do if you lose? What options do you truly have? If your investments get squashed are you likely to die? Will you be damaged irreparably? What truly is the worst that can happen?
What if your name is dragged in the mud?
What will happen if your reputation is at stake? If the people that know you today no longer see you as all that? What will happen if people around you think that you did something for different reasons from why you did it? What if you are perceived differently from who you really are? What is the worst that can happen? How badly does someone else’s comments or views about you matter? What will you do, if you are wrongly labelled by your friends and family? What is the worst that can happen?
What if you build you life around an opportunity and it collapses?
What will you do? Will you shake yourself up and start again? Will the journey have been worth it? Will the relationships built make it have meaning? Will you be crippled automatically? Will it be a collapse you can recover from? What is the worst that can happen?
What if you fail in your exams? Fail in your attempt to win the lady’s heart? Or fail in your relationship? What is the worst that can happen? Haven’t people in similar conditions gotten their lives back on track? The fears that prevail are the fears whose questions we never ask? Ask, and set yourself free. Being optimistic is good, it means expecting the best, it is however equally good to ask yourself the questions that prepare you for the worst. More often than not, F.E.A.R is just False Evidence Appearing Real.
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Great article Chairman!!!!!
This is a good post; I am chewing on it because I surely needed it…
Thank you sir!
Great post Chairman,
Millions out there are 'playing the Ostrich' and 'living in denial'. Sometimes we're tempted to follow suit. Thanks for the wake up call.
Hmm! These are some of the questions that come to my mind almost unconsciously.
They are questions we can not run away from but address if we must achieve our full potentials. In them lies the secret of true independence and freedom and many, for fear of them, cling on to false hopes that one day may slip off their fingers
I have learned that it is one thing to fear failure and quite another thing to hate it. They are two different things!
You don't avoid something by being afraid of it or else u may end up attracting it instead.
Cheers!
P.S. Sir, Just to keep in touch.
Great Post Deolu, quite a while i have read trend like this from your blog, great are those days of 2007 & 2008, i enjoyed so much, learnt so much and received so much courage from reading your consistent posts of this kind stuffs.
Today i have results to show for it, i'm a living testimony of confronting all these "What If's" inspite of the demands of the environment where i live.
I believe this post is a message for a number of people, i implore whoever to draw as much courage as you think you need as you read this post, read it as many times as possible, think through every point, analyse yourself with all honesty, produce action plans and strategies based on your conclusions, you will be surprised that there is no limit to what you can achieve in your life.
Deolu thanks once again for impacting courage from your posts, thanks for Bringing Cashflow 101 across my way, little did you realise how much these things have impacted my focus in life positively, God bless you my brother.
Fear:It is not the absence of fear itself but the courage to dare!Tnx 4 the wake up call.
Thanks for sharing. I have fears…some of them you’ve already raised in the post. But this is what sums it up for me, that “Being optimistic is good, it means expecting the best, it is however equally good to ask yourself the questions that prepare you for the worst.”
Thanks again Sir!
What if i fail? am not afraid at all, because am sure if i don’t loose the sight of the shore i can never discover new land. Lets go there, it is time to own your life.
I like that definition you gave fear – "F.E.A.R is just False Evidence Appearing Real…". It means its just false; not real, and …what if I fail? I won't die; and it's not the end of me. Hmmm. Really insightful and thorough. Thanks
Deolu, This really comes at the right time for me…I will stand up and face it again…”I am not yet back in the farm”…I still have a lot of more opportunities to exploit.
I smile with tears in my heart. I read this post with a lot of memories. How I wrote JAMB three times and the last one I told myself, I will go to somewhere in the North and teach Maths if i fail, I ask myself that question all the time. May God bless you Deolu, I have printed this quote and have given it to someone to read. Thanks.
I have’nt even read the article completely( funny abi?) but this write up is awesome and just what i need. Deolu God has positioned you as a voice, please never stop talking/writing. you have inspired me beyond words. God Bless you.
Oga Deolu,i will have to pick up my pieces and move ahead since FEAR is just false evidence appearing real.Thanks for the wake up call.
Best regards.
Fear will bring things to pass just as faith will. Job even confessed this in the book of Job 3 vrs 25 “For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me, and that which I was afraid of is come unto me”. What Job fear most eventually became His lot. It’s better not to entertain fear, we all need the Grace of God to summon the courage we need and take a bold step, that word FEAR never exist anywhere whether now or in the World to come, its just false evidence appearing real just like people say.
Man's own consciousness is God; there is no other God (Fear) or whatever. By consciousness it meant existence, life, and awareness.
When man says, "I am fearful," he is saying God is full of fear which is not REAL. When he says, "I am in want," he is relating a lie and a denial of God's abundance and infinite supply. His faith is in failure, and he succeeds in being a failure. He believes in a lie, but he cannot prove the lie; THAT IS FEAR. The false condition seems real as long as he dwells upon it. When he ceases to believe it, he is free and healed.
Shalom!!!
What you said are pure truth nothing but the truth. Thanks Chairman. I'm blessed, May the Well you're drawing from never run dry (Amen).
eating and digsting…i’m addicted
if indeed u r Jesus freak, then Preaching should av preceded eating & gisting! lol!
Chairman,
You will never stop to amaze me.I kept wondering how on earth you get the inspiration to write such a thought provoking article at the right time.As if you read my mind.Thanks for sharing this with us.
i think i av once raised those posers? but the challenge is leaving d comfort zone – i.e. bell the cat!
What if I loose my job?
Which is preferrable to leave a job under your own terms and condition or under your employer’s terms and condition?
I pity most workers,in suit,company cars,americanized english and all,working their butts off for their employers not giving thoughts to starting their own bussineses by the side and nurturing the bussiness no matter how small.
By the time they either retire,resign or are fired from their jobs may be 25 years down the road, they are spent,all their useful years dashed their so called bosses/employers.
My advise is for people to identify a promising bussiness,carry our feasibility and profitability studies and take off fully or by the side.
An ounce of action is better than tons of theorizing.
God is not wicked to let you fail.Even if you fail,there are lessons to l be learnt,keep trying until you succeed.
You might say easier said than done.No,I kicked my job as exploration geologist with TEXACOCHEVRON 20 years ago.I am still on the journey.Success is a journey not a destination.
Leave that job on your own terms or your you will have to leave on their own terms
rking their butts off for their employer not giving a thought to
Gi
A sure path to real failure would be the inability to overcome the fear of failure itself. Deolu, keep up the great work you are doing.
I agree entirely with Peter and with this timeless words. Thanks again Chairman…
Welcome back deolu been a while
Wow! Thanks for sharing such a good post. Definitely it will help people to analyse themselves that, is they need help with their Self Development? How ever, I used http://urbanmonkdiaries.wordpress.com/for my Personality & self development.
Success they say is going thru failure to failure without lose of heart.no one is labeled a failure unless he/she quit.i can never never never give up,i’ll continue to ask mind explosive questions.thanks deolu.
Success they say is going thru failure to failure without lose of heart.no one is labeled a failure unless he/she quit.i can never never never give up,i’ll continue to ask mind explosive questions.thanks deolu.GOD BLESS U