Self-Motivation, Personal Growth and Entrepreneurship Development on DeoluAkinyemi.com

The thought of our mortality is one of our greatest reservoirs of wisdom. When we ponder on the transient nature of life, we ask ourselves deep questions and our philosophies are formed. When the question of death is asked, our highest priorities surface. I like the thoughts of Stephen R. Covey, when he says begin with the end in mind. One can hardly understand his or her life’s priorities without extending the equation of life over the point where life ends. Those who regularly connect with their mortality live the most meaningful lives, while in contrast, those who think they would leave forever make a mess of life.

Who will cry when you die? Ask yourself this question and it might reveal to you the quality of life you are currently living. Ask why will they cry, and you’ll see the things you are living for. The days are inching close to when it would be 1yr that heaven gained my mother, the days seem fast to the observers, but the value of that time, and the many times her value was missed is priceless. My eyes have not offered it’s tears for public display, but my heart has bled over and over with tears of blood, thank God for his comfort. When life has meaning, it always leaves a clear vacuum in the lives of other people. This vacuum makes people cry, makes people hurt and makes many wish it was possible to reverse death. When you die, who will cry and why? Continue Reading »

“I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career, I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty six times I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over in my life. And that’s why I succeed!” – Michael Jordan

One of the sharpest contrasts of paradigms between the super successful and the near do wells or outright failures is their perspective about failing. The contrast is so alarming, yet many don’t know. In my little sojourn and study, I have discovered quite amazingly that the rich and the poor, the great and the average, the skilled and he amateur,  have different philosophies about failing. If your philosophy can change, then you have indeed begun your journey into the school of success. As a man thinks in his heart, so is he. You are not more than your way of thinking. Read these words, and let them transform your thinking, changing the way you see failing and rejection has the capacity to transform your life in 3 months.

Failing is one of the best things that can happen to a human being! Rejection is be most powerful motivation tool on earth! Getting a “No!” from your prospects or friends is the best self development training in the world! Failing is golden! The act of falling short, or missing expectations, of not meeting up with the desired results or getting woeful results is precious. You need to motivate yourself to fail, get yourself the opportunity of being rejected, go into places you’ll hear no’s more often, for success is elusive to those who have no history of failing! Failure must never be a place that defines you, but you must be conversant with failing. Like Thomas Watson one time MD of IBM said, “I have discovered, that in order to double my success rate, I simply double my failure rate!”.  You are not ready to succeed, until you are prepared to fail Continue Reading »

One of the strongest revelations I walk with is understanding that the fear of extremes makes us mediocre. People regularly live less than their potentials, because of a dread of the worst. What if I fail? What if I die? What if my good name is dragged in the mud? What if I make a fool of myself? Unwilling to think deeply about the worst, men and women condemn themselves to an average low impact existence.  No books are written about them, no quotes to their name, their fear of failure got them eventually the same fate with all, death, but meaningless lives.

I have learnt to always confront my worst possibilities? I resigned from paid employment 4yrs ago with clarity about the question, what if I fail? My answer was that should I fail, I would send my family to my parents or theirs, I will stay around in Lagos for a little longer and work my butts off, if all still fails, I will go back to the village and get involved in farming!  I grew up learning to farm, and I know that on the farm you are not likely to die of hunger, and once there is life, there is hope . I have a colleague that told me his own worst case scenario was that he’ll become a driver – since he loves to drive. What I have learnt is that except you are willing to ask yourself mind boggling questions, you will not make mind boggling progress.  Those who go very high in life, are those who have dealt with the fear of falling. What if you fail? Continue Reading »

The process of living is the process of dying – literally. I usually tell people on their birthday’s that one year more is one year less. As we advance in years our life reserves get reduced and we embark on the process of dying. Just like the pages of a book, as the left piles up, the right dimishes until we hit the back cover and turn the book over. Living is dying.

It is however more interesting that in order then to live life fully, one must embrace the possibility of death. Full life is impeded by the fear of dying. The pages drag slowly, the moments lack zest, when we refuse to plunge or dive because we are afraid! We have only one shot at life, yes, but it’s going to end with death anyway, so why not live it fully with no regrets? Why not enjoy the journey since the destination is sure? Why not live it the way it was designed to be lived – with passion, excitement and fulfillment?

“People living deeply have no fear of death” – Anais Nin

I shudder at the statistics of people who really live deeply? Only a few percentage of people ever live beyond ordinary lives. Many of us unconciously live with the template of Solomon Grundi, our lives follow a predictable sequence. We wake up early every morning and engage in a race to work and back. Our key motivation is not more life, but the fear of not losing the one that we have. We race to work not because of passion, love or excitement, but because to put food on the table we think we must! We hope that maybe one day we will live our dreams, one day we will suddenly have a rush of courage and give up who we are for what we are capable of becoming. One day comes one day late, and then you are late and it’s late. Yank off your life from the slow road guarded by fear, move into the lane where life is rich and adventurous. It’s not a road void of challenges, nay, but it’s exciting and full of stories. It’s also empowering and capable of actually making you a guiding light for thousands or millions of prisoners of fear.

Here are 5 things you can do to live life more fully. Continue Reading »

There is an experiment that I read about that opened my eyes to the truth about Fear. I’ll narrate the story to you and guide you into my understanding of the inner workings of fear and how to break away from limiting mind sets. There is nothing that stops living a full and fulfilling life like fear. Fear shackles, holds back, and paralyzes good initiatives. Many of our best ideas have never seen the light of day because of fear. Many of us are living way less than our possibilities because of fear. Many of us are stuck with Jobs we don’t like, relationships we don’t enjoy, dreams we haven’t birthed, desires we don’t express, all because of fear. The fear of the unknown, the fear of being wrong, the fear of failing, the fear of falling, the fear of poverty, the fear of isolation. Fear! If you can break free from the hold of fear, not only will your words be motivating, your life will be inspiring. When we break lose from our fears, we unconsciously liberate others around us to do the same! 

How fear works is quite interesting, and I think this little experiment clarifies it. Imagine a long flat board, 100 meters long, and 1 meter wide (1 meter is a little more than 3 rulers and for 100 meters, think about the track in secondary school) Imagine it lying on the ground, and you are asked to walk on it without moving off it at any point. If the picture of this is clear in your mind, walking along this board for 100 meters should be a piece of cake. In fact, you should be able to almost close your eyes and run on it. Right? Now imagine that this same flat board, was lifted up to the height of a sky scraper and fixed between two sky scrapers for you to walk on? Imagine, it and ask if you would? The truth is, you will be a lot more reluctant to walk, the board has not changed, it was the same board you would have run on confidently a few mins ago. But all of a sudden now, you are afraid, the fact that it is high up is allowing you to be clouded by the possibilities of what might happen, you are suddenly thinking more about the consequences of falling than the prospects of walking or even running. This is the way fear works, it takes your eyes off possibilities into the real of consequences. You begin to imagine things that may and will never happen, and it stops you dead in your tracks. Fear is the greatest road block to success, and except you learn to live above and in spite of your fears you are doomed! Doomed to mediocrity, doomed to average, doomed to live out a frustrated and unfulfilling existence. If you don’t face your fears, it will back you down into the corners of timidity, batter you into cowardice and leave you an underachiever. We need to understand fear and free ourselves of it’s grip, here is how. Continue Reading »

Dante Gabriel Rossetti a poet and an artist was once approached by an elderly man. The elderly man approached him to show him some of his works of art, for the great artist to make a few comments about their value and viability. The story says, that when Rossetti saw the works of art, he could not conceal his assessment of the fact that they were useless. Being a kind man however, he did not make fun of it, he simply explained to him, that he could not lie to him and felt that the works of art were of little or no value. The elderly man as you would guess, was disappointed, but the didn’t let it shake him too much. Before turning around to leave, he asked the great artist for an opportunity to get his remarks on the works of art of a student of his. The artist obliged him, and the elderly man presented the works to him. The eyes of the artist lit up! 

Dante Rossetti, was impressed with the works of art, and generously poured accolades on it. In fact, he told the elderly man to ensure that he did whatever he could to encourage the student. From what he could see, he really has real talent and something unique. Contrary to Rossetti’s expectations that the old man would feel hurt that his student had potentials to be greater, the old man seemed visibly moved, emotionally so! “Is that your son, the great artist asked?” Seeing that there must be some connection. The elderly man responded, “no, it’s not my son, that was me 40yrs ago, I only wished I had heard what you just told me now then, I would have been encouraged to paint.” Continue Reading »

Announcements: The New Nigeria Club online conference will hold on Thursday the 19th of February, 2009 at 8pm Nigerian Time. We’ll be doing the conference on skype, if you are interested in attending send me your skype ID on my deolu@newnigeriaclub.net or write it here as a comment.

I got up really early this morning, I wanted to be ready for 6:30am so I could make the Lagos to Ilorin trip on time and return on time too. My Secondary School (Federal Government College Ilorin) was celebrating their 36th birthday, and I was invited to come and speak to and inpire the students. I had done the same thing last year, so I guess I’m gradually becoming a regular item on the founder’s day celebration . It was a bit stressful for me getting up, as I was truly tired, given that I had an engaging weekend. Over the weekend I had spent about 3hrs of my Saturday in a church I was invited to speak in, a good part of the rest with the organizers of HR MBA. Sunday had also gotten me going from Church to HR MBA, and then to Realty Point office where I facilitated for IFA and then back home late. I eventually went ahead to sleep on Sunday night around 3pm and knew I had to get up for 5:30am if I was going to make the Ilorin trip and be there on time.

It turned out to be a really packed day for me, I’m on my bed now, trying to retire for the night, and I can safely say that I feel really invested (spent) today. My mind casts back at the scenery of  FGC Ilorin, everything still looks pretty the same way I left it 15yrs ago. The assembly hall is still incomplete, the sports pavilion still looks like it’s in development. Save for a few “new” buildings here and there which are actually balanced out by the buildings that have deteriorated, the school is still basically the same. I had given scholarships to a few of the students last year, but looking at their faces today I was motivated to increase the number of students enjoying the scholarship.  I had spent over 9hrs on the road, travelled long distances, risked not making money today, given of my time, my effort and fallen into the risk of being misscontrued. On my way back however, I recalled a thought that stayed with me through the weekend and gave me inspiration. It said “It’s criminal to live cautiously like that! ” – Matthew 25:26b Continue Reading »

It’s very depressing observing people in my environment everyday. Right now as I write, I am on the road, and I’m writing and staring out the side glass, I see different people, different shapes and sizes, different classes and at different stages. Sometimes I look beyond what I can see, and try to ask myself what some people could be thinking? Many people are so bothered about the basics, that they are clearly stuck in the present. The immediate gratification of our basic human desires, kind of mortgage our future possibilities. It’s either that our quests to satisfy the immediate that blinds us from the ultimate, or the fact that we haven’t set our ultimates is what makes us slaves to the immediate. Even I am inclined once in a while to stray and think in the line of our regular excuse, the fault of our leaders, the lack of accountable leadership, the lack of systems that can bring to office people that have visions and the capabilities to drive us to achieve. My mind strays, but not for long. Leaders are men like you and I. They were not born with crowns, nor with leadership tattooed on their butts. They were born like you and I, crying and wailing, wondering why they had to come to this world at this time. If we must get a better life, we must stop looking outside ourselves but inside. We must know that to fix the king, we must train the child. Yes we need great leadership, much more we need a system that will make it impossible for mediocre leadership to reach the throne, but most importantly we need to be a people that deserve a better life. We need to be an enlightened people, people that are easy to govern, difficult to rule and impossible to enslave.

I’m in the office now, I made it through the car park, lift and corridor of the office without closing my laptop. Yeah, every morning that’s my routine, I always keep the laptop opened. I wonder what my neighbors at home and at work think J. So back to the quest for a better life. My assumption is that I want it, and some other people do too. We need to get a few things right. We know some of these things already, but few of us put them to practice. In the cause of last weekend, I spent a considerable amount of time with an Australian friend, and it occurred to me that there are many things I know that I don’t practice, yet this guy knows a few things, but practices them like a religion. I got challenged to take some things more seriously, and I consider it a privilege to remind you about a few of them. Continue Reading »

“It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes short again and again, who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause, who at best knows achievement and who at the worst if he fails at least fails while daring greatly so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat” -Theodore Roosevelt

It’s 12 midnight already, am about to pack up my laptop and go to sleep, but not just quite yet, I have some thoughts from the events of today that have been inspirational for me, and I think it’s good I share. I have quit trying to please all, trying to please all is one of the sure ways to fail. He who will please all will lose his donkey.

“I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody”  Bill Cosby

There is a world of difference between saying I have failed three times and saying I am a failure. Failing is the birthing place of success.  Some of the things I have done lately has won a lot of applause, and a number of boos.  The worst that can happen is that I fail, but then, I would never be listed amongst the cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat from not haven tried. I’ll rather be an exemplary failure, than some of the timid souls whose specialization is running commentaries about the lives of others. It’s extremely easy to turn the vegetables in the pot with ones tongues…”he could have done like this…” Continue Reading »