May 23, 2011

From Victim to Victor


“They didn’t tell me it was like this”, “I didn’t know”, “He deliberately deceived me”, “They made it look so simple”, “It’s his fault”, “It’s her fault”. There are many shades of excuses people give as the reasons for their failure. They all have one thing in common – they give the responsibility for their predicament(s) to others. These conversations ooze out effortlessly from the mouths of victims. A victim is appropriately defined as one that is acted on and usually adversely affected by a force or agent. Nobody desires to be a victim, we think erroneously that our circumstances are imposed on us by life. This is wrong!

Victors on the other hand, are people who somehow have learnt to arrogate the responsibility for their success or failure only to themselves. They see themselves as on the winning side, as happening to the world and not the world shoving things at them. They see themselves as key influencers, not merely concerned citizens. They seek out their lot in life and take it! The world watches and calls them lucky, but they know that everything they have achieved in their life has been their fault or making. They know that by thinking like a victor, they have somehow managed to attract wealth, the opportunities and the lifestyles that attends victory. Continue reading

Related Posts:

May 9, 2010

My Testimony – FGBMF


The narrative below was produced by Ewulotan Ayodeji Peter a participant in the Full Gospel Business Men Fellowship of 17th March, 2010, the Aqua Chapter. I had the privilege of sharing my testimony and perspectives with them. I believe some people were blessed, here is hoping that this narrative would be valuable to you as well.
He is a distinguished engineering graduate from OAU who opted to pursue his passion (human development) rather than the course he studied. He was fortunate to have given his life to Christ very early in life, a decision that turned him to a young billionaire (He was a Youth Corper 10years ago). His major turning point in life started when he went for a retreat out of passion for God…….before the commencement of the meeting he prayed that God should distinguish him in life (he wanted to be different, ….God set me apart)
He was surprised at God’s response …….God told him it is not my job to make you different ….that he would not need Him (God) to be different…. that the decision and effort must come from him (Deolu) to be a different person i.e. you have to first draw near to God for God to draw near to you …..like the saying ‘Heaven only helps those who help themselves’. ‘When I see you make a move then I God will back you up. Continue reading

Related Posts:

April 25, 2010

The Law of Diminishing Intent


I’ve been working on this article for about 5 days now, I’m just coming back from a 4 days exciting adventure in Ilorin, where I saw the future of business in Nigeria. I saw young guys and lady’s making great things happen, utilizing their time well and getting themselves positioned for the future. The more I speak with them, the more these thoughts burn in my mind. It’s the law of Diminishing Intent, not my original idea, but it’s motivating to me, so I have decided to put my thoughts on it down for you, and for the future.
“The Longer you wait to do something you know you should do now, the greater the chances you will never actually do it!” – Culled from The Success Formula by Bob Burg.
Patience is a virtue, it in fact is a fruit of the Holy Spirit. Patience however does not mean slackness. Patience is rather a manifestation of faith that allows you to maintain decorum as you position for the things that are yours while they do not appear to be so. I’m stating this clearly ahead so that you don’t confuse what I’m writing about today with a motivation to be impatient, you need to have the right context about patience. What you have when you wait without instruction or without faith in a possibility is not patience it’s slackness! Continue reading

Related Posts:

April 7, 2010

What if I fail?


One of the strongest revelations I walk with is understanding that the fear of extremes makes us mediocre. People regularly live less than their potentials, because of a dread of the worst. What if I fail? What if I die? What if my good name is dragged in the mud? What if I make a fool of myself? Unwilling to think deeply about the worst, men and women condemn themselves to an average low impact existence.  No books are written about them, no quotes to their name, their fear of failure got them eventually the same fate with all, death, but meaningless lives.

I have learnt to always confront my worst possibilities? I resigned from paid employment 4yrs ago with clarity about the question, what if I fail? My answer was that should I fail, I would send my family to my parents or theirs, I will stay around in Lagos for a little longer and work my butts off, if all still fails, I will go back to the village and get involved in farming!  I grew up learning to farm, and I know that on the farm you are not likely to die of hunger, and once there is life, there is hope :) . I have a colleague that told me his own worst case scenario was that he’ll become a driver – since he loves to drive. What I have learnt is that except you are willing to ask yourself mind boggling questions, you will not make mind boggling progress.  Those who go very high in life, are those who have dealt with the fear of falling. What if you fail? Continue reading

Related Posts:

May 27, 2009

Living is Dying


The process of living is the process of dying – literally. I usually tell people on their birthday’s that one year more is one year less. As we advance in years our life reserves get reduced and we embark on the process of dying. Just like the pages of a book, as the left piles up, the right dimishes until we hit the back cover and turn the book over. Living is dying.

It is however more interesting that in order then to live life fully, one must embrace the possibility of death. Full life is impeded by the fear of dying. The pages drag slowly, the moments lack zest, when we refuse to plunge or dive because we are afraid! We have only one shot at life, yes, but it’s going to end with death anyway, so why not live it fully with no regrets? Why not enjoy the journey since the destination is sure? Why not live it the way it was designed to be lived – with passion, excitement and fulfillment?

“People living deeply have no fear of death” – Anais Nin

I shudder at the statistics of people who really live deeply? Only a few percentage of people ever live beyond ordinary lives. Many of us unconciously live with the template of Solomon Grundi, our lives follow a predictable sequence. We wake up early every morning and engage in a race to work and back. Our key motivation is not more life, but the fear of not losing the one that we have. We race to work not because of passion, love or excitement, but because to put food on the table we think we must! We hope that maybe one day we will live our dreams, one day we will suddenly have a rush of courage and give up who we are for what we are capable of becoming. One day comes one day late, and then you are late and it’s late. Yank off your life from the slow road guarded by fear, move into the lane where life is rich and adventurous. It’s not a road void of challenges, nay, but it’s exciting and full of stories. It’s also empowering and capable of actually making you a guiding light for thousands or millions of prisoners of fear.

Here are 5 things you can do to live life more fully. Continue reading

Related Posts:

February 24, 2009

Now or Never


Dante Gabriel Rossetti a poet and an artist was once approached by an elderly man. The elderly man approached him to show him some of his works of art, for the great artist to make a few comments about their value and viability. The story says, that when Rossetti saw the works of art, he could not conceal his assessment of the fact that they were useless. Being a kind man however, he did not make fun of it, he simply explained to him, that he could not lie to him and felt that the works of art were of little or no value. The elderly man as you would guess, was disappointed, but the didn’t let it shake him too much. Before turning around to leave, he asked the great artist for an opportunity to get his remarks on the works of art of a student of his. The artist obliged him, and the elderly man presented the works to him. The eyes of the artist lit up! 

Dante Rossetti, was impressed with the works of art, and generously poured accolades on it. In fact, he told the elderly man to ensure that he did whatever he could to encourage the student. From what he could see, he really has real talent and something unique. Contrary to Rossetti’s expectations that the old man would feel hurt that his student had potentials to be greater, the old man seemed visibly moved, emotionally so! “Is that your son, the great artist asked?” Seeing that there must be some connection. The elderly man responded, “no, it’s not my son, that was me 40yrs ago, I only wished I had heard what you just told me now then, I would have been encouraged to paint.” Continue reading

Related Posts:

January 26, 2009

Who else wants a better life?


 

It’s very depressing observing people in my environment everyday. Right now as I write, I am on the road, and I’m writing and staring out the side glass, I see different people, different shapes and sizes, different classes and at different stages. Sometimes I look beyond what I can see, and try to ask myself what some people could be thinking? Many people are so bothered about the basics, that they are clearly stuck in the present. The immediate gratification of our basic human desires, kind of mortgage our future possibilities. It’s either that our quests to satisfy the immediate that blinds us from the ultimate, or the fact that we haven’t set our ultimates is what makes us slaves to the immediate. Even I am inclined once in a while to stray and think in the line of our regular excuse, the fault of our leaders, the lack of accountable leadership, the lack of systems that can bring to office people that have visions and the capabilities to drive us to achieve. My mind strays, but not for long. Leaders are men like you and I. They were not born with crowns, nor with leadership tattooed on their butts. They were born like you and I, crying and wailing, wondering why they had to come to this world at this time. If we must get a better life, we must stop looking outside ourselves but inside. We must know that to fix the king, we must train the child. Yes we need great leadership, much more we need a system that will make it impossible for mediocre leadership to reach the throne, but most importantly we need to be a people that deserve a better life. We need to be an enlightened people, people that are easy to govern, difficult to rule and impossible to enslave.

I’m in the office now, I made it through the car park, lift and corridor of the office without closing my laptop. Yeah, every morning that’s my routine, I always keep the laptop opened. I wonder what my neighbors at home and at work think J. So back to the quest for a better life. My assumption is that I want it, and some other people do too. We need to get a few things right. We know some of these things already, but few of us put them to practice. In the cause of last weekend, I spent a considerable amount of time with an Australian friend, and it occurred to me that there are many things I know that I don’t practice, yet this guy knows a few things, but practices them like a religion. I got challenged to take some things more seriously, and I consider it a privilege to remind you about a few of them. Continue reading

Related Posts:

June 5, 2008

The things I used to do…


Has it ever happened to you before, that the things you used to do, the things you felt proud of, the things that were consistent in your life are now left unattended to? Do you worry that you are not as good as you used to be? Are you struggling to keep up with good habits you used to have? Is it as though your life is slowly heading downhill? Or are you one who has enjoyed a lot of bad habits but now want to do things right and it’s been an insurmountable struggle? Are you paddling hard without motion? Are you kicking your feet and splashing water yet no movement? Are you crying for help, yet no one can see your tears? Or  your case might be much milder, no one knows that anything has changed about you yet, you are still relying on the old glory and shining brightly. Are you aware of something that most of the people that see you daily know nothing of? Are you losing connection with your root and afraid that in a while you leaves will soon lose colour? Has your iron be unplugged with the world unaware? Do you know that the heat is being lost, and all else think all is well?

Today, one of my sisters (not blood, but close) came to pour her heart to me, in a bid to be helped. The things she used to do, that made her stand out, that made her desirable, that made her a blessing, she was doing them no more. She confided in me, that if she didn’t tell me, I wouldn’t know, but this is not the way she wants it to go. She felt so bad, she wanted to cry – “The good things I used to do, I don’t do them anymore”. She wants to, she knows she ought to, she can’t say it’s because she has no time, she knows that’s an excuse. All she does is work work work, and she was afraid that the source of her warmth was long gone. Continue reading

Related Posts: