Self-Motivation, Personal Growth and Entrepreneurship Development on DeoluAkinyemi.com

One of the strongest revelations I walk with is understanding that the fear of extremes makes us mediocre. People regularly live less than their potentials, because of a dread of the worst. What if I fail? What if I die? What if my good name is dragged in the mud? What if I make a fool of myself? Unwilling to think deeply about the worst, men and women condemn themselves to an average low impact existence.  No books are written about them, no quotes to their name, their fear of failure got them eventually the same fate with all, death, but meaningless lives.

I have learnt to always confront my worst possibilities? I resigned from paid employment 4yrs ago with clarity about the question, what if I fail? My answer was that should I fail, I would send my family to my parents or theirs, I will stay around in Lagos for a little longer and work my butts off, if all still fails, I will go back to the village and get involved in farming!  I grew up learning to farm, and I know that on the farm you are not likely to die of hunger, and once there is life, there is hope . I have a colleague that told me his own worst case scenario was that he’ll become a driver – since he loves to drive. What I have learnt is that except you are willing to ask yourself mind boggling questions, you will not make mind boggling progress.  Those who go very high in life, are those who have dealt with the fear of falling. What if you fail? Continue Reading »

The process of living is the process of dying – literally. I usually tell people on their birthday’s that one year more is one year less. As we advance in years our life reserves get reduced and we embark on the process of dying. Just like the pages of a book, as the left piles up, the right dimishes until we hit the back cover and turn the book over. Living is dying.

It is however more interesting that in order then to live life fully, one must embrace the possibility of death. Full life is impeded by the fear of dying. The pages drag slowly, the moments lack zest, when we refuse to plunge or dive because we are afraid! We have only one shot at life, yes, but it’s going to end with death anyway, so why not live it fully with no regrets? Why not enjoy the journey since the destination is sure? Why not live it the way it was designed to be lived – with passion, excitement and fulfillment?

“People living deeply have no fear of death” – Anais Nin

I shudder at the statistics of people who really live deeply? Only a few percentage of people ever live beyond ordinary lives. Many of us unconciously live with the template of Solomon Grundi, our lives follow a predictable sequence. We wake up early every morning and engage in a race to work and back. Our key motivation is not more life, but the fear of not losing the one that we have. We race to work not because of passion, love or excitement, but because to put food on the table we think we must! We hope that maybe one day we will live our dreams, one day we will suddenly have a rush of courage and give up who we are for what we are capable of becoming. One day comes one day late, and then you are late and it’s late. Yank off your life from the slow road guarded by fear, move into the lane where life is rich and adventurous. It’s not a road void of challenges, nay, but it’s exciting and full of stories. It’s also empowering and capable of actually making you a guiding light for thousands or millions of prisoners of fear.

Here are 5 things you can do to live life more fully. Continue Reading »

Dante Gabriel Rossetti a poet and an artist was once approached by an elderly man. The elderly man approached him to show him some of his works of art, for the great artist to make a few comments about their value and viability. The story says, that when Rossetti saw the works of art, he could not conceal his assessment of the fact that they were useless. Being a kind man however, he did not make fun of it, he simply explained to him, that he could not lie to him and felt that the works of art were of little or no value. The elderly man as you would guess, was disappointed, but the didn’t let it shake him too much. Before turning around to leave, he asked the great artist for an opportunity to get his remarks on the works of art of a student of his. The artist obliged him, and the elderly man presented the works to him. The eyes of the artist lit up! 

Dante Rossetti, was impressed with the works of art, and generously poured accolades on it. In fact, he told the elderly man to ensure that he did whatever he could to encourage the student. From what he could see, he really has real talent and something unique. Contrary to Rossetti’s expectations that the old man would feel hurt that his student had potentials to be greater, the old man seemed visibly moved, emotionally so! “Is that your son, the great artist asked?” Seeing that there must be some connection. The elderly man responded, “no, it’s not my son, that was me 40yrs ago, I only wished I had heard what you just told me now then, I would have been encouraged to paint.” Continue Reading »

It’s very depressing observing people in my environment everyday. Right now as I write, I am on the road, and I’m writing and staring out the side glass, I see different people, different shapes and sizes, different classes and at different stages. Sometimes I look beyond what I can see, and try to ask myself what some people could be thinking? Many people are so bothered about the basics, that they are clearly stuck in the present. The immediate gratification of our basic human desires, kind of mortgage our future possibilities. It’s either that our quests to satisfy the immediate that blinds us from the ultimate, or the fact that we haven’t set our ultimates is what makes us slaves to the immediate. Even I am inclined once in a while to stray and think in the line of our regular excuse, the fault of our leaders, the lack of accountable leadership, the lack of systems that can bring to office people that have visions and the capabilities to drive us to achieve. My mind strays, but not for long. Leaders are men like you and I. They were not born with crowns, nor with leadership tattooed on their butts. They were born like you and I, crying and wailing, wondering why they had to come to this world at this time. If we must get a better life, we must stop looking outside ourselves but inside. We must know that to fix the king, we must train the child. Yes we need great leadership, much more we need a system that will make it impossible for mediocre leadership to reach the throne, but most importantly we need to be a people that deserve a better life. We need to be an enlightened people, people that are easy to govern, difficult to rule and impossible to enslave.

I’m in the office now, I made it through the car park, lift and corridor of the office without closing my laptop. Yeah, every morning that’s my routine, I always keep the laptop opened. I wonder what my neighbors at home and at work think J. So back to the quest for a better life. My assumption is that I want it, and some other people do too. We need to get a few things right. We know some of these things already, but few of us put them to practice. In the cause of last weekend, I spent a considerable amount of time with an Australian friend, and it occurred to me that there are many things I know that I don’t practice, yet this guy knows a few things, but practices them like a religion. I got challenged to take some things more seriously, and I consider it a privilege to remind you about a few of them. Continue Reading »

Has it ever happened to you before, that the things you used to do, the things you felt proud of, the things that were consistent in your life are now left unattended to? Do you worry that you are not as good as you used to be? Are you struggling to keep up with good habits you used to have? Is it as though your life is slowly heading downhill? Or are you one who has enjoyed a lot of bad habits but now want to do things right and it’s been an insurmountable struggle? Are you paddling hard without motion? Are you kicking your feet and splashing water yet no movement? Are you crying for help, yet no one can see your tears? Or  your case might be much milder, no one knows that anything has changed about you yet, you are still relying on the old glory and shining brightly. Are you aware of something that most of the people that see you daily know nothing of? Are you losing connection with your root and afraid that in a while you leaves will soon lose colour? Has your iron be unplugged with the world unaware? Do you know that the heat is being lost, and all else think all is well?

Today, one of my sisters (not blood, but close) came to pour her heart to me, in a bid to be helped. The things she used to do, that made her stand out, that made her desirable, that made her a blessing, she was doing them no more. She confided in me, that if she didn’t tell me, I wouldn’t know, but this is not the way she wants it to go. She felt so bad, she wanted to cry – “The good things I used to do, I don’t do them anymore”. She wants to, she knows she ought to, she can’t say it’s because she has no time, she knows that’s an excuse. All she does is work work work, and she was afraid that the source of her warmth was long gone. Continue Reading »

“It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes short again and again, who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause, who at best knows achievement and who at the worst if he fails at least fails while daring greatly so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat” -Theodore Roosevelt

It’s 12 midnight already, am about to pack up my laptop and go to sleep, but not just quite yet, I have some thoughts from the events of today that have been inspirational for me, and I think it’s good I share. I have quit trying to please all, trying to please all is one of the sure ways to fail. He who will please all will lose his donkey.

“I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody”  Bill Cosby

There is a world of difference between saying I have failed three times and saying I am a failure. Failing is the birthing place of success.  Some of the things I have done lately has won a lot of applause, and a number of boos.  The worst that can happen is that I fail, but then, I would never be listed amongst the cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat from not haven tried. I’ll rather be an exemplary failure, than some of the timid souls whose specialization is running commentaries about the lives of others. It’s extremely easy to turn the vegetables in the pot with ones tongues…”he could have done like this…” Continue Reading »