“The essence of life is to live it, not watch it” – Adeolu Akinyemi
The inspiration for this quote, is merely watching my mum, and listening out to the people whose lives she had touched. My mum was important to so many people, she was their “somebody” that made their lives better, their crosses easier to bear and rekindled their hope. My mum was a template for the virtous woman described in Prov 31, the more I read it, the more I remember her. I have not ceased to ask myself a fundamental question, “when would have been a good time for her to die?” The more I ask and think, the more I realize, that for us her children, for her brother, friend, business partner and lover – my dad, for her relations near and far and for the many lives she touched, there would never be a good time! There is never a good time to lose a loved one, even at 90, she’ll still have left us puzzled. I can remember my dad shedding tears at the burial of his 78yrs old mother, there is never a good time. One thing is sure though, life should be measured by donation, not duration. What matters is not how long, it’s how well! Thinking like this, I have every course to celebrate my mum’s temporary separation from me. I am confident that we’ll meet again at Jesus’ feet, I am confident that she has voluntarily joined the company that constitute the cloud of witnesses. I am happy that my mum lived a life that if I can set as benchmark for mine, I’ll be driven till I’m done! I know that God is all wise, all his word is perfect and all his ways are just.
My mum had a glorious exit, and there are many things to learn from her life. I’ll attempt a few here, and if I’m so inspired, I’ll do a book in her honour. On the 21st of June, 2009, my mum dressed for her last church service. Very early in the morning of that day, she bade farewell to all of us her children. We had all come home from Lagos, for my younger sister’s wedding introduction the previous day. Even though the meeting was meant to have less than 60 people, my mum had killed one of her cows (yeah.. she has cows she’s rearing) and shared it for all her children and sibblings. We all saw mummy on Sunday, unaware of course that that was the last time we’ll see her alive and well. We hugged, waved and went. In a series of events, that led to her driving to church, and sitting, as ever and always beside her husband she decided to share her testimony. She raised a song as she stood up, and stood at the pulpit (Gbese ope me po, mi o le san tan, sugbon o sibe sibe, hun o se iwon ti mo le se, baba a laanu mi, e ma se o baba – My debt of thanksgiven is more than I can pay, but never the less, I will do the best I can, my father the merciful, thank you). Everyone sang along, and she started to share her testimony. She shared on, until she got to a point and announced to the church, I am feeling dizzy, at which point she slumped in the ready hands of my dad and her pastor. That was when the chariot that took her to heaven came, that was the last time she stood on her feet for the next 11 days that ended with her being taken. The doctors called it a hemorrhagic stroke, and showed that it was really up to God or nature. Between those days, she spoke for some and was unconscious for others. Her life flashed before our eyes and I’m sure hers as well. Her 56yrs have been more life than 200 regular years. Many hope to die in the lord, my mum was a child of God at her death, and even took her departure from his house -the assembly of his people.
There are loads of things I have learnt from my mum, and there is a lot more that I am learning. Learn with me.
1. Do all the good you can, to all the people you can.
My mum was a nurse by profession, but beyond the practice of nursing where her salary was paid, my mum was like a local messiah to her community. All my growing up days, it was never a rare occurrence for my mum to be called out at 1am to come and help someone – from delivering a baby, to rushing someone to the hospital, to someone’s child having a seizure e.t.c. In her last years, she took it beyond medicine into education, and even into financial empowerment. She’ll do all she can to ensure people in her community get education, she was the bridge between the young and the old. Her pastor told me that it was as if she planted the church, she was matron to the youths and a sister to the adults. I recollect my mum following up regularly with me to ensure that I gave a scholarship to some students she believed were deserving. I remember her organizing for some community people with an admission overseas to come see me to help them. I remember my mum singlehandedly traveling to attend a FGC alumni meeting in Ogun State, just because she felt she would meet some old students who would be sympathetic to the dwindling plight of their schools. My mums friends and enthusiasts consist of people from extreme segments of the class, age and religious divides. My mum didn’t care if you were illiterate, young or muslim – her care was unconditional. ” She introduced me into the cooperative”, “she helped me with this need and that”, “it’s because of her that I am alive today”, “I lived with her family for many years, while I had no options”, “She sacrificed hers for mine”. These are some of the things I hear people say. Someone prayed for us the children, that may all the good my mum did to people without hoping for anything back, may that good pave our way and be returned back to us in full measure. Trust me, that prayer is thick.
2. Be Industrious
If you have never read Proverbs 31, go and read it. If you have and you thought it was idealistic, you are wrong! My mum was virtuous and industrious. One thing that attempts to pain me is the fact that we would have been able to spoil her more and do a lot more for her if she stayed, but I know that where she is, is without comparison. My mum was a business woman per excellence. I believe I inherited her charisma and her never giving up attitude. What did my mum not do? As at the time of her death, from the last discussion I had with her, she was worried a bit about her farmland (acres of farmland) – this year she had planted lots of yam, and she was worried about the rain. She had a few cows with the cooperative ranch. I’ve seen her support my Dad’s batik business as the Sales Director, and Admin Manager. I’ve watched my mum do egg sales business and from Ilorin supply Lagos and Ibadan. I have seen her buy bags of maize to transport to store and sell in Sokoto. Fish farming, Cassava, Maize, Beans, e.t.c. My mum operated a pharmacy for years and had to stop because she was having to close by midnight everyday and didn’t want her family to lose out by the businesses success. My mums salary was not fantastic, yet she invested in shares, invested in Land… I recall her last call to me asking for my advice before making an investment. My mum was my dad’s right hand woman. My dad is a bundle of patience and temperance, my mum provides the passion and the drive. I’ve seen her do businesses and fail, I’ve seen her do the ones that succeed, with my mum, failure was no excuse. Life was meant to be lived, and she turbo-ed it!
3. Don’t let your age limit you.
Many of us carry our age and status to much to our hearts. Not my mum, also not my dad. My mum had good friends among my friends. And to show she liked them, she came all the way to Lagos to attend their weddings. Imagine the scene, my friend is wedding, and I’m there with my wife and my mum – She was that into the next generation. Even this year she has done the same. My mum is on facebook, she has a computer with internet access, she learnt forex trading last year. My mum read my website from time to time. My mum bought a copy of success digest last year, and decided to pay for training and learnt how to cultivate fish. My mum was never limited by age. She was a friend of young and old, and she wasn’t a friend in words, she was in deed. At age 56 she could have passed for 42. I have never felt uncomfortable talking about anything in my mum’s presence, she was one of us when she was 40 and one of us when she was 50 and 56.
4. Have a fighting peaceful spirit.
Most people become perpetual losers in life, not because they lack what it takes, but because they gave in just a little too early. People regularly settle for less than they are capable of, they stop fighting and resign to fate. My mother was a fighter! She was a fighter from as long as I have known her. She didn’t believe in letting things settle as the first course of action. Her first course was to go there and speak up for what she believed was right. If my mum relays a story that happened 35yrs ago, you will feel the emotions. She started taking responsibility at barely 20yrs old when her dad died, and left her as the first born of some sort. She learnt to stand up for herself, her siblings and her family. It didn’t’ matter who you were, as far my mum was concerned if there was fire on your head, it can be brought down and put out. As quickly as she was prone to fight however, she was also quick to make up. I remember one classical example of a time when I was really young. It wasn’t ever a rare sight to see my mum and dad arguing about one point or the other. On one such instance, they were actually outside and the argument was quite hot and the voices high. The neighbors heard, and thought it would be a great opportunity to settle their argument and possibly introduce them to Christ. It took the neighbors about 3-5mins to gather themselves and come to our house, by the time they got in, my mum and my dad were laughing hilariously over a game of scrabble. Fight for what you want, but be rational and peaceful. Interestingly when my mum came back to consciousness after slumping, she told my dad, “I have to go back there and finish my testimony, I have to also warn/instruct people, if it can happen to me, it can happen to anybody!” She fought it for a while to stay, but when she became aware that it was God’s time, she peacefully resolved. Her pastor said God told him specifically, “leave her for me”, around the exact time she died, God instructed me to ask… This is what I want, but nevertheless thy will be done, and I did.
5. Shine your Light
I have lots of great memories of my mum. On her account I have gone to speak to the students and staff of FGC Ilorin twice. I’m almost becoming a regular feature at their founders day. She’s been a mother close by and impactful to me, and indeed to all of us. My mum is not someone to blend in a crowd, she is a light that shines wherever she is placed. She’ll call me to let me know she is praying for me, and all of us. In her church, she’s that nice woman that hugs everybody, to her pastor, this is the only woman in church that I hug, we are like family. My mum held her light high and shared it. I’ve been watching people come over to my parents house to cry, some to weep, and yet others to recount one incidence or the other. She wasn’t hid under a bushel, she wasn’t buried under the moronic excuse of I have a job and I am busy. She lived life to the fullest, touched souls without number, tolerated many from different backgrounds, partnered well with her husband and left for me a legacy of a life lived with zest. I remember in the church I grew up where men sat on one side, and women on the other… not my folks. Their family was a unit, and they were not going to bend to any practice that separated men to their friends and women to theirs. My mum was different, and she let it show.
There is a lot I’m hearing and learning, I hope to still compile more of the perspectives to share with all that are interested. Someone said if God asked for volunteers to die instead of my mum, there would have been volunteers. She’s gone however, because it’s God’s time. My mum is gone ahead to be with God, I intend to make that transition to life eternal, to the realm of Gods kingship. I hope you do too. I intend to live my dreams and pursue my purpose because of such a great inspiration my mum and my dad have been to me! Maybe I’ll write my own- Dreams of My Mother 
Whoa…definitely your mom belongs to that generation of men that lived life and not just talked it or heard it…sure she is resting peacefully in the father’s bosom.
Deolu,
Accept My Condolence, and then thanksgiving to God for a life well spent by Mama.
Thank God for her life. She’s obviously with the cloud of witness as we speak. We’re the ones with the baton of life now, we’ve got no choice but to leave our imprints in the sands of time (plenteous in the hearts of men).
Adieu to Ma Akinyemi
Cheers
It is well, brother. From all you have written, her death is a celebration of a life she had lived. I am certain she was, and still is, proud of you and your siblings. God will grant her eternal rest. I guess she saw it coming. That shows her rest will be sweet, without any dreams of regret!
accept our sympathy. Our God who is the very source of our comfort, will stregthen, uphold and establish every member of your family in His love. The memory of the just will surely be blessed anyday. keep up her good works!!!
We all need to make a commitment to ourselves to be the best we can be…and quickly…to influence positively both in life and in death.
I see your mother’s efforts reflected in your personality. with a mother like her, the sky is definately your begining. I see the legacies she has left for her generations. I’m also proud of my mum, she has indeed taught me a lot in life. Uncle Deolu, this day the scripture is fulfilled before your very eyes, that He takes the righteous away befor the day of adversary. we shall meet over the river Jordan. Open doors as you prepare for a befitting burial in her honour. ADIEU MAMA AKINYEMI
Life is not how long but how well. Guess what chairmam, she lives on, her works, her legacy lives on and like I said to you on phone….. Any mother that left someone like you behind was a great woman and that’s true.
Rest in perfect peace mama we hope to meet someday and say hi to my mum over there tell her we miss her, Adiu.
blessed be the Lord God almighty for a life well spent. I am glad she was taken in the midst of her people (she that was separated from her brethren)
It is amazing how se lived a fruitful life. If the only reason she was born and the only thing she achieved was giving life to deolu akinyemi i think she fulfilled her purpose. Adieu Mama
It’s a blessed life.I imagine how many millions of people she has touched also indirectly through the life of our own Adeolu Akinyemi.
Stay strong boss and keep celebrating.
She was a mother to me, she lived a life that we could not begin to recount or imagine. May her gentle soul rest in peace. I’ll miss her, but most importantly I’ll learn from how she lived her life. I pray for strength for your dad, you-Chairman, Biola, Seun and Tiwa.
Twas great having the person of your mum around for that period of time. I am grateful to God for her live and how WELL she has lived…sure she is up there now.
Dear Chairman, kindly accept my condolence.
wow… Blessed is She. We see the work of her hands in the lives of her children.
She isn’t dead… nothing is more graceful than seeing your seeds come to
fruition. I pray for strength for your Dad and you guys…
Keep passing the baton.
WOW…You are indeed a product of your mum with the few things i have learned and observed about you.
I guess every young lady should read this. I will start by posting it on <a href=”http://www.facebook.com/adesojiadegbulu”my facebook wall
All da best
Oga Deolu accept my condolence for the exits of your mama. What i glorious exits of a virtous woman. I am sure she is resting at the right hand of our savior jesus christ.
Chairman,accept my condolence…Am proud of ur mum for the lifes she has touched..May her soul rest in peace..
Adieu Mama – till that great day.
Frankly, words in great pain are soothing only by the grace of God and I believe that God Almighty has made that grace sufficient for you and your entire family.
Accept my heartfelt sympathy.
Accept my condolence Deolu. The joy of it all is to know she has gone to be with the lord and for us to still see one day. And ofcourse the beautiful lessons her life had brought to others; choosing to bloom and made her passage felt by posterity. May her soul rest in peace… Amen.
I never knew your mum, but I know her son- you! You are a testimony of the life she lived. Hopefully, we’ll meet in heaven.
What Glorious and blessed life your Mum has lived. Even though i don’t know her in person, from the account of what you have written now and what i know you personally to be, she has left a legacy that will last for many generations. Stay strong my brother, you are an extension of her in greater dimension, my opportunity will come to know her in heaven.
My Prophet, its well ! am blessed by just reading your post and asking myself.. will it be said of me one day that i am a virtuous woman like your mum with a worthy legacy of a son like you ? i am happy she made a mark on earth, touching the lives of many and not just marked time! May the Almighty God console and comfort your dad plus you and your siblings..indeed its a celebration of life!
Blessed is the woman that gave birth to someone like you! While it’s true that many have not met her among your teeming friends and fans, her hands and attention of a mother are all visible in your life and conduct. I join all your friends, colleagues and associates to commiserate with you and to tell you that indeed, you are blessed
I could not hold it but shed tears.
Sir, i remember like yesterday thel last time i visited your mum at home in ilorin. the hospitality i received still lingers in my memory. God be praised for a life well spent. Like the shunamite woman said “it is well”
Great mother.Rest in perfect peace.
Great memories of a loved one indeed!! You must have shed ‘plenty’ tears while writing and reviewing these. It is well with your soul. Though she’s gone, i believe she lives on cos of the tales behind her. You should take over from where she stopped and immortalize her by your own good works. God keep you. Amen.
Chairman,
What then shall we say to these things.. It is well with you in Jesus name, Lord strenghten you and keep you. Stay strong my brother.
Your Mum couldn’t have been any less my Mum even though she didn’t birth me. She loved me and she showed it. Anytime I saw her, she greeted me with a hug and a kiss regardless of the environment we met.
She was the last person to take my blood pressure…she couldn’t stop insisting on my getting married quickly.
She was just awesome….just like you are awesome and blood couldn’t make you more of a brother than you are now.
May God give all the Akinyemi’s the grace to bear her loss and passing and to live lives that will echo that that she lived. May we be light to our world
Great Memories of a Sweet Mother
Deolu, it’s good to know this should be a Celebration of Life and not a mourning moment or period. The tall order however is for all her kids beating Mama’s record. And above all, you and all she left behind owe her the great responsibility of seeing her face again…if only for her sake determine and encourage others to make heaven, for it will be another re-union with the one you all never loved to miss.
Bless God for mothers and I pray for many who never had a privilege of being “Mothered” or “fathered” that May the Lord who is father to the Fatherless, and I dare to say “mother to the motherless” stand in for you all, may He give you Kings and Queens as Parents.
Chairman, what else can one says but to thank God for one of His illustrous daughter who had fought a good fight of faith and triump. Good bye chairman’s precious jewel
Chairman,
Please accept our condolences on Mama’s passing to glory. But we are encouraged by The Word of The Lord: “For the Lord Himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first…”.
The Lord is your strength in this time and always.
isaiah chapter57 verse 1-2
Whao, What a fulfilled life she has lived. I am very happy for her, for to die is Christ is to live forever. Please accept my congratulations that you were part of this great story and condolence for this great loss. What more can I say? Your loss became heavens gain. It is well with you and your siblings. God bless you.
Adieu Mama.
We give thanks for her life and that you have something to write about her life , and it gives joy to everyone here on earth that she is gone to meet her saviour in heaven.
Deolu, Please take heart and let God be your succour and that of the whole family at this time . IT IS WELL!!!!! Amen
A day before her departure, you had jokingly asked if I will go down to illorin and pray with your mum and i said the the e-prayers were enough and we all laughed over it, but when the news came I was taken aback. God’s way cannot always be explained, but we can sure trust him for he know what he is doing, she has fought the fight and finished her race, we must must resolve to do same. God bless and uphold all the Akinyemis.
May God grant her eternal rest and may God give you fortitude to bear the loss.
Wow!!! when she reads this she’ll sheds tears from heaven that will cause rain of blessings upon you.
She did hug me whenever we met, i am proud to have been associated with her. I love her and my one prayer now is that when it is my turn… Father take me the way you took her.( at your feet in praise and adoration to Your Mighty Name)
Lovely article, i’ll send it to my mum.
Before i forget…i remember when i was little, i used to pray that i die b4 my mum, because i couldn’t stand the thot of not having her around, but after this article… i guess when the Lord is ready, i ask only one thing… that He takes her at His feet too the way He did yours.
Thank you for this post.
life is not about longevity but eternal security. indeed she was a mother of influence. we lv u mummy.
Offering condolences in your time of loss…
No matter how the waves of life may toss
May the Happy times and Memories linger on
Heartfelt Sympathy…
There is never a good or better time to lose those that we love. From what you have written of your Mum, she accumulated enough ‘oil’ in her lamp to light her way back to the presence of our Heavenly Father. Take heart brother.
So sorry to hear this! Like you said there is never a good time to loose a loved one. Pls accept my condolence and that of my entire family. We thank God for her life on earth. I have no doubt that she will be remembered always.
What measures life? Asked once by my friend: We came to suggestions and I remain on my concurred point that a person’s Life can be measured by: “The Number of people who measure theirs by hers/hes.
I have no doubt that she lived well. Grace to hold up and go on to make better contributions, may the Lord Grant us.
Go home & Sleep well mummy.
Dear Deolu, kindly accept my condolences and that of my entire family on the transition to eternal glory of your mother whom the Lord used to birth you to our generation. Its wonderful to know that she lived a life that impacted many positively – I guess you got a great part of her gene in your system.
May the Lord keep us and inspire us to affect our generation and generations unborn positively and may we leave the world a better place than we met it.
All,
Thank you! I appreciate every message I have gotten, and every sms, and every email and every call. Rather than sorrow, I will by God’s grace leverage on her temporary departure to step up my life and my influence. Before she could only see me when we meet, now she can always see me. Before she prayed for me regularly without knowing exactly what to pray for, now she can see everything. Before she needed to kneel down and have faith to pray, now the angels are everywhere
Thanks for all the loads of encouragement. I pray that God gives my father the grace and wisdom to handle this times, I pray that my sibblings never get to reach a place where they’ll need her so much and not have her there. I pray that when we all cross over, we’ll hug and celebrate. All of us, and you too.
Thank God she lived a fruitful and impactful life,it is a challenge to us all,May God continually inspire you to do her proud….
It is well Adeolu. God is with u & always will be.Death reminds us all of trasiency of life!
Beautiful post. Very motivating. Your mom meant a lot to you. May her soul rest in peace.
Wow Deolu…. accept my deepest regards, but then again, I congratulate you, for you know she is in the bosom of the Lord, free from every limitation! I am encouraged…. I must finish and I must finish strong!
Deola,
accept my condolence. Your mum lives a life that is indeed a challenge to all of us. With the little i know about you and what you’ve wrote about your mum, she lives on forever. May God grant you the grace to continue the relay race in which she had handed tha batton top you.
Deolu, accept my condolences on the transition of your mum to glory. May the good Lord Himself fill the vacuum that her departure left behind.