“The essence of life is to live it, not watch it” – Adeolu Akinyemi
The inspiration for this quote, is merely watching my mum, and listening out to the people whose lives she had touched. My mum was important to so many people, she was their “somebody” that made their lives better, their crosses easier to bear and rekindled their hope. My mum was a template for the virtous woman described in Prov 31, the more I read it, the more I remember her. I have not ceased to ask myself a fundamental question, “when would have been a good time for her to die?” The more I ask and think, the more I realize, that for us her children, for her brother, friend, business partner and lover – my dad, for her relations near and far and for the many lives she touched, there would never be a good time! There is never a good time to lose a loved one, even at 90, she’ll still have left us puzzled. I can remember my dad shedding tears at the burial of his 78yrs old mother, there is never a good time. One thing is sure though, life should be measured by donation, not duration. What matters is not how long, it’s how well! Thinking like this, I have every course to celebrate my mum’s temporary separation from me. I am confident that we’ll meet again at Jesus’ feet, I am confident that she has voluntarily joined the company that constitute the cloud of witnesses. I am happy that my mum lived a life that if I can set as benchmark for mine, I’ll be driven till I’m done! I know that God is all wise, all his word is perfect and all his ways are just.
My mum had a glorious exit, and there are many things to learn from her life. I’ll attempt a few here, and if I’m so inspired, I’ll do a book in her honour. On the 21st of June, 2009, my mum dressed for her last church service. Very early in the morning of that day, she bade farewell to all of us her children. We had all come home from Lagos, for my younger sister’s wedding introduction the previous day. Even though the meeting was meant to have less than 60 people, my mum had killed one of her cows (yeah.. she has cows she’s rearing) and shared it for all her children and sibblings. We all saw mummy on Sunday, unaware of course that that was the last time we’ll see her alive and well. We hugged, waved and went. In a series of events, that led to her driving to church, and sitting, as ever and always beside her husband she decided to share her testimony. She raised a song as she stood up, and stood at the pulpit (Gbese ope me po, mi o le san tan, sugbon o sibe sibe, hun o se iwon ti mo le se, baba a laanu mi, e ma se o baba – My debt of thanksgiven is more than I can pay, but never the less, I will do the best I can, my father the merciful, thank you). Everyone sang along, and she started to share her testimony. She shared on, until she got to a point and announced to the church, I am feeling dizzy, at which point she slumped in the ready hands of my dad and her pastor. That was when the chariot that took her to heaven came, that was the last time she stood on her feet for the next 11 days that ended with her being taken. The doctors called it a hemorrhagic stroke, and showed that it was really up to God or nature. Between those days, she spoke for some and was unconscious for others. Her life flashed before our eyes and I’m sure hers as well. Her 56yrs have been more life than 200 regular years. Many hope to die in the lord, my mum was a child of God at her death, and even took her departure from his house -the assembly of his people.
There are loads of things I have learnt from my mum, and there is a lot more that I am learning. Learn with me.
1. Do all the good you can, to all the people you can.
My mum was a nurse by profession, but beyond the practice of nursing where her salary was paid, my mum was like a local messiah to her community. All my growing up days, it was never a rare occurrence for my mum to be called out at 1am to come and help someone – from delivering a baby, to rushing someone to the hospital, to someone’s child having a seizure e.t.c. In her last years, she took it beyond medicine into education, and even into financial empowerment. She’ll do all she can to ensure people in her community get education, she was the bridge between the young and the old. Her pastor told me that it was as if she planted the church, she was matron to the youths and a sister to the adults. I recollect my mum following up regularly with me to ensure that I gave a scholarship to some students she believed were deserving. I remember her organizing for some community people with an admission overseas to come see me to help them. I remember my mum singlehandedly traveling to attend a FGC alumni meeting in Ogun State, just because she felt she would meet some old students who would be sympathetic to the dwindling plight of their schools. My mums friends and enthusiasts consist of people from extreme segments of the class, age and religious divides. My mum didn’t care if you were illiterate, young or muslim – her care was unconditional. ” She introduced me into the cooperative”, “she helped me with this need and that”, “it’s because of her that I am alive today”, “I lived with her family for many years, while I had no options”, “She sacrificed hers for mine”. These are some of the things I hear people say. Someone prayed for us the children, that may all the good my mum did to people without hoping for anything back, may that good pave our way and be returned back to us in full measure. Trust me, that prayer is thick.
2. Be Industrious
If you have never read Proverbs 31, go and read it. If you have and you thought it was idealistic, you are wrong! My mum was virtuous and industrious. One thing that attempts to pain me is the fact that we would have been able to spoil her more and do a lot more for her if she stayed, but I know that where she is, is without comparison. My mum was a business woman per excellence. I believe I inherited her charisma and her never giving up attitude. What did my mum not do? As at the time of her death, from the last discussion I had with her, she was worried a bit about her farmland (acres of farmland) – this year she had planted lots of yam, and she was worried about the rain. She had a few cows with the cooperative ranch. I’ve seen her support my Dad’s batik business as the Sales Director, and Admin Manager. I’ve watched my mum do egg sales business and from Ilorin supply Lagos and Ibadan. I have seen her buy bags of maize to transport to store and sell in Sokoto. Fish farming, Cassava, Maize, Beans, e.t.c. My mum operated a pharmacy for years and had to stop because she was having to close by midnight everyday and didn’t want her family to lose out by the businesses success. My mums salary was not fantastic, yet she invested in shares, invested in Land… I recall her last call to me asking for my advice before making an investment. My mum was my dad’s right hand woman. My dad is a bundle of patience and temperance, my mum provides the passion and the drive. I’ve seen her do businesses and fail, I’ve seen her do the ones that succeed, with my mum, failure was no excuse. Life was meant to be lived, and she turbo-ed it!
3. Don’t let your age limit you.
Many of us carry our age and status to much to our hearts. Not my mum, also not my dad. My mum had good friends among my friends. And to show she liked them, she came all the way to Lagos to attend their weddings. Imagine the scene, my friend is wedding, and I’m there with my wife and my mum – She was that into the next generation. Even this year she has done the same. My mum is on facebook, she has a computer with internet access, she learnt forex trading last year. My mum read my website from time to time. My mum bought a copy of success digest last year, and decided to pay for training and learnt how to cultivate fish. My mum was never limited by age. She was a friend of young and old, and she wasn’t a friend in words, she was in deed. At age 56 she could have passed for 42. I have never felt uncomfortable talking about anything in my mum’s presence, she was one of us when she was 40 and one of us when she was 50 and 56.
4. Have a fighting peaceful spirit.
Most people become perpetual losers in life, not because they lack what it takes, but because they gave in just a little too early. People regularly settle for less than they are capable of, they stop fighting and resign to fate. My mother was a fighter! She was a fighter from as long as I have known her. She didn’t believe in letting things settle as the first course of action. Her first course was to go there and speak up for what she believed was right. If my mum relays a story that happened 35yrs ago, you will feel the emotions. She started taking responsibility at barely 20yrs old when her dad died, and left her as the first born of some sort. She learnt to stand up for herself, her siblings and her family. It didn’t’ matter who you were, as far my mum was concerned if there was fire on your head, it can be brought down and put out. As quickly as she was prone to fight however, she was also quick to make up. I remember one classical example of a time when I was really young. It wasn’t ever a rare sight to see my mum and dad arguing about one point or the other. On one such instance, they were actually outside and the argument was quite hot and the voices high. The neighbors heard, and thought it would be a great opportunity to settle their argument and possibly introduce them to Christ. It took the neighbors about 3-5mins to gather themselves and come to our house, by the time they got in, my mum and my dad were laughing hilariously over a game of scrabble. Fight for what you want, but be rational and peaceful. Interestingly when my mum came back to consciousness after slumping, she told my dad, “I have to go back there and finish my testimony, I have to also warn/instruct people, if it can happen to me, it can happen to anybody!” She fought it for a while to stay, but when she became aware that it was God’s time, she peacefully resolved. Her pastor said God told him specifically, “leave her for me”, around the exact time she died, God instructed me to ask… This is what I want, but nevertheless thy will be done, and I did.
5. Shine your Light
I have lots of great memories of my mum. On her account I have gone to speak to the students and staff of FGC Ilorin twice. I’m almost becoming a regular feature at their founders day. She’s been a mother close by and impactful to me, and indeed to all of us. My mum is not someone to blend in a crowd, she is a light that shines wherever she is placed. She’ll call me to let me know she is praying for me, and all of us. In her church, she’s that nice woman that hugs everybody, to her pastor, this is the only woman in church that I hug, we are like family. My mum held her light high and shared it. I’ve been watching people come over to my parents house to cry, some to weep, and yet others to recount one incidence or the other. She wasn’t hid under a bushel, she wasn’t buried under the moronic excuse of I have a job and I am busy. She lived life to the fullest, touched souls without number, tolerated many from different backgrounds, partnered well with her husband and left for me a legacy of a life lived with zest. I remember in the church I grew up where men sat on one side, and women on the other… not my folks. Their family was a unit, and they were not going to bend to any practice that separated men to their friends and women to theirs. My mum was different, and she let it show.
There is a lot I’m hearing and learning, I hope to still compile more of the perspectives to share with all that are interested. Someone said if God asked for volunteers to die instead of my mum, there would have been volunteers. She’s gone however, because it’s God’s time. My mum is gone ahead to be with God, I intend to make that transition to life eternal, to the realm of Gods kingship. I hope you do too. I intend to live my dreams and pursue my purpose because of such a great inspiration my mum and my dad have been to me! Maybe I’ll write my own- Dreams of My Mother 
Oh Mum, that is the name i always call her, i think the last wedding she attended was my own in Lagos 6 weeks ago. I can see the surprise in my wife face that she was able to make it even though her daughter EDD was on that day she still went back to Ilorin and came back a week later when the baby came.
What can i write about a woman who will always greet me with a hug and pecks on both cheeks, she will make sure we have something to eat even if we entered the house 2 am. What will happen to our visits to Ilorin now. Who will be there to welcome and cook for us whenever we do our midnight stunts. It does matter how much we miss her now we will feel the impact more when next we go to Ilorin for a programme and there is no one there to fill the gap then we will know we have lost someone. But i have a consolation our loss is heaven gain.
Good night mummy!
Oga Dee,
We thank God for a life well spent. I pray that God give you and your people the grace and wisdom to bear this temporal separation.
IT IS WELL
THROUGH THE LOVE OF GOD OUR SAVIOUR
Through the love of God our Saviour,
All will be well,
Free and changeless is His favour;
All, all is well.
Precious is the blood that healed us,
Perfect is the grace that sealed us,
Strong the hand stretched forth to shield us,
All must be well.
Though we pass through tribulation.
All will be well,
Ours is such a full salvation;
All, all is well.
Happy, still in God confiding,
Fruitful, if in Christ abiding,
Holy, through the Spirit’s guiding,
All must be well.
We expect a bright to-morrow;
All will be well,
Faith can sing through days of sorrow,
All, all is well.
On our Father’s love relying,
Christ our every need supplying,
Whether living now, or dying,
All must be well.
WOW…You are indeed a product of your mum with the few things i have learned and observed about you.
I guess every young lady should read this. I will start by posting it on my facebook wall
All da best
Now i understand where you are coming from. Lion gives birth to lions. She actualled finished our course and ran the race. Accept my condolence.
She has definately lived a good life and left a legacy for us all.One memory about her that i cannot forget is that she ‘s indeed a great teacher i can remember that she has been invited a couple of times or more to our Home economics class to teach about reproduction and other stuffs like that and she took so much time to explain in such a way that i can’t but still remember all the illustrations she used those days after ten years, though it is painful but her life speaks volumes and this makes me to begin to think on how i really can make my life count.Sleep on Beloveth in the bossom of God wia we shall meet again.
Haba!!! I am just hearing this, Wow!! Many daughters have done well, i think she excell them all. A look at your life and personality is not just a testimony but the spirit of greatness and success that dwells withing the loins of your beloved mother. Like H. W Bush, there is no such greatness as having an offspring toeing in your path. May God bless her, it is not how far but how well. After all Solomon lived for 58 yrs. I am happy i know her son.
To God be the glory
Mr Chairman, please let it alays ring in your heart that you blessing thousand of people of which am one, by this wise sayings of yours
Indeed the memories of the righteous are blessed. I will say say she lived as i she knew she was goin to die at that age. making vital use of every opportunity and adding value to lives.
Numbers doesn’t count but how well. her foot path will forever be there Rest in Peace Madam.
wolex
http://www.athoughttoshare.com
“its not in how long…but how well” those words touched me. if our creator calls us home today,would we have live a life pleasing to him? what would we be remembered for? the measurement of the quality of ones life is the legacy left behind. Deolu, God will give u the grace to bear this temporal seperation.amen
Chairman, I’m touched beyond words by this. And even inspired by your response to all these. It is well.
E sun re ma! A o pade la ayo. Mama alayo, mama oniwura, ese ma, eku itoju wa! Eyin yin tii da!
YOu are right, there’s never a good time to loose a loved one. I am sorry for your loss.
Ordinary Men count their days…
Great Men & Women make their days count!
Thank God For a life well spent for Mummy because she truly made each day count for everyone that knew her.
May God grant all the Akinyemis the fortitude to bear the loss.
Ojo a jina sira o. A a ni ri iru e mo.
Stay Strong & Take Charge as Always
God bless you, Deolu. You are doing a great job.
omo ti ekun ba bi, ekun ni o jo (the child of a lion will always resemble a lion), i didnt know your mum, but what i have just read about her is what i see in you, dont worry be happy because she is resting in the blossom of our creator like my mum too!!!!!!!!!!
All that kept running through my mind as I read how she died was”let me die the death of the righteous”not because it happened in the church anyway.it can only get better my brother
May the Lord bless her legacy, and strengthen your heart by his grace! Legacy ‘rere a gbe’yin awa na o’
Praise God for a life well- spent. She has completed her race successfully. God will give u and the rest of the family the fortitude to bear her absence. The Holy Spirit is your comfort. It is well.
accept my condolence. thank God she lived well.God be with you
I remember your Mum from FGC days, she was the students’ favorite nurse… If you were ill, you better hope to draw Mrs. Akinyemi on duty or you could draw an abscess… She definitely was what you described and more.. She will be greatly missed.. and I pray that the Holy Spirit would comfort all those left behind especially your Dad and that those of us still in this world will learn great lessons from her life and strive to live a full and fulfilled life
This is a good piece, I am so happy I knew her, and I’m happy she lived a good life. May the lord bless her and keep her soul…
Rest in Peace…….
Blessed art thou my brother!
It is well
I’ve been tremendously blessed by this piece. It’s touching! Thank you Deolu. My Condolences, please accept. She is an Inspiration we must legendarize…if there’s any word like that.
Thank you again.
‘He can never be poor, he who has had a Godly Mother.’ Abraham Lincoln
‘Fading away like the stars of the morning….only remembered by what we have done.
Your Mother has fought the good fight of faith and is with the Lord.
Tell her to put in a good word for all of us.
I am defiantly praying for you, your father and siblings.
God’s Grace and strength be with you all.
Boma.
Hmmm… Such inspiring lessons! Sure Mama is at rest seeing that she’s imparted into the lives of her children as well as people around her. May her soul rest in absolute peace.
She’s definitely living on!
It’s good to know she identified the opportunities to be a blessing and maximized them, we need to as well. She will receive a reward from Him.
The joy of meeting pays the pangs of absence; else who could bear it?
Accept my sympathy and I pray to God to console ALL THE AKINYEMIS for missing a rare gem. The point here is that she lived a fulfilled life and she lived it to the fullest.
I know how you feel; it hurts so much to separate especially when souls are connected.
Don’t cry because it’s over – the stress, pains, trouble, crisis etc of this world. Smile because it happened – she died at the feet of Our Lord Jesus Christ we’ll all meet someday. Sun re o………….
Jeez what a fighter she was! Am proud of her and all other beautiful Nurses like my own mum too.
Please accept my condolences
I have read a lot of good things about your mum, she definitely is a woman to be proud of!
I pray to be as good and better a mother and woman she was.
We do not mourn as the ‘the world’ mourns,
Thank God for her life!
I pray God carries your dad especially , and her children through these times.
……Thou hast thought me to say “It is well, it is well with my soul”……..Bro it is well with you and your family in Jesus name (AMEN)!!!!
I read both stories, “lessons from MJ” and “life lessons from my Mummy” back to back and I had goose bumps when I read d first few lines of ur mum’s piece. But u av said it all……life is meant to be lived and from ur few lines it seemed ur mum lived it to the fullest. One thing I av learnt in the last few weeks since MJ’s death (my fiance’s dad also passed away recently) is that is life is indeed very short. And we shd let every moment count, tell and remind that loved one aw much u love him or her, use every moment to make an impact on one another and indeed the world for we never know when our time will be up. “Never rest until you leave your mark on the sands of time”. My sincere condolences to you and your family and may the gentle soul of ur mum rest in perfect peace.
Mama has left a legacy for us all, you are already treading the path and like u said, her light so shined on a lot of people.I am one of them even though I never met her but for the fact that I met and am still meeting u, I am a partaker of her blessings.The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, the Love of God and the sweet fellowship of the holy spirit, rest and abide with the Akinyemi’s.Amen. Adieu Mama, until we meet at the master’s feet.
I empathise with you because I sort of know the pain, I understand that you would have ofcourse prefered to have her around a bit longer to shower her with your love in so many ways you .My mum died when it was time to actually start to relax after bringing us all up since the death of my Dad when I was 11yrs old, so these things happen.It is only in god that we have hope, because no matter the love and material things you shower her with it can never be compared to the bosom of the Lord!
I am not surprised at the account of your Mum’s life, I had always known that only a remarkable woman could mother a remarkable man like you. Accept my condolence.
borther man , am so sorry about your mum’s death , i ddint get to know about this till today , please accept my condolence , may God be with you and the rest of your family ,and give you the fortitude to bear the loss , she is not a loss , she lived a great life , cheers
As i read on i just couldnt but remember how she used to enthausiastically care for us @ the FGC clinic & at home (sometimes) she realy leaved an impactful life. even if just because she is ur mother sir. we’ll miss her.
Deolu , sorry for the painful demise of your great and industriious mother. I was almost crying when I was reading this write up. I pray that God will give your family the fortitude to bear the irreparable loss. Please accept my condolences.
Mama lived a wonderful life and she left her footprints in the sands of time!
May her Great Soul Rest In Perfect Peace. My Chairman, accept my condolences just got to know now as i was browsing through your blog. Mya God grant you and your family the strength to bear her loss .
Best Regards
Deolu,
I am short of words, it strikes me how similar you are to Mumsy in attitude.. Can a lion give birth to a goat? NO!!! I have learnt a great deal from this article, she is still influencing us even after death. The righteous shall be remembered forever Psa 112:6.
Shallom.
What can I say? Anyone who knew her knows all you say are so true. Truth is there’s no good time to lose a loved one, particularly one who has made you so proud. We all wish she had stayed here so we could spoil her. But like we know, where she is far outshines all the spoiling we can think of. God’s grace and strength for Daddy. He’ll miss her most. Strength and grace for you, your family, Biola, Tiwa and Seun. We rejoice at the thought that we will see one another again in Jesus’ presence.
Really tripped by the life of your mum. can say of a truth, ‘like mother like son.’ Tis left for you to do beyond that and i can see you’ve already started. Grace be multiplied to you and your family to go through this time.
“One thing is sure though, life should be measured by donation, not duration” This really is pathetic, but much more challenging, It reminds me of a message I once listen to “the hypen between the dates” Life is short, eternity is near, we need to live with that consciousness always and live life to the fullest of the potential and special ability that God has given to us all. Thank God for Mama, she has gone beyond and join the cloud of witnesses. I know someday we’ll all meet again at the feet of Jesus. what we need to do now is to live the legacy that she left behind. Didun ni iranti Olododo
blessings to you for writting a post on this.