Category Archives: Fear

Adeolu Akinyemi
June 20, 2010

Who Will Cry When You Die?


The thought of our mortality is one of our greatest reservoirs of wisdom. When we ponder on the transient nature of life, we ask ourselves deep questions and our philosophies are formed. When the question of death is asked, our highest priorities surface. I like the thoughts of Stephen R. Covey, when he says begin with the end in mind. One can hardly understand his or her life’s priorities without extending the equation of life over the point where life ends. Those who regularly connect with their mortality live the most meaningful lives, while in contrast, those who think they would leave forever make a mess of life.

Who will cry when you die? Ask yourself this question and it might reveal to you the quality of life you are currently living. Ask why will they cry, and you’ll see the things you are living for. The days are inching close to when it would be 1yr that heaven gained my mother, the days seem fast to the observers, but the value of that time, and the many times her value was missed is priceless. My eyes have not offered it’s tears for public display, but my heart has bled over and over with tears of blood, thank God for his comfort. When life has meaning, it always leaves a clear vacuum in the lives of other people. This vacuum makes people cry, makes people hurt and makes many wish it was possible to reverse death. When you die, who will cry and why? Continue reading →

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Adeolu Akinyemi
April 7, 2010

What if I fail?


One of the strongest revelations I walk with is understanding that the fear of extremes makes us mediocre. People regularly live less than their potentials, because of a dread of the worst. What if I fail? What if I die? What if my good name is dragged in the mud? What if I make a fool of myself? Unwilling to think deeply about the worst, men and women condemn themselves to an average low impact existence.  No books are written about them, no quotes to their name, their fear of failure got them eventually the same fate with all, death, but meaningless lives.

I have learnt to always confront my worst possibilities? I resigned from paid employment 4yrs ago with clarity about the question, what if I fail? My answer was that should I fail, I would send my family to my parents or theirs, I will stay around in Lagos for a little longer and work my butts off, if all still fails, I will go back to the village and get involved in farming!  I grew up learning to farm, and I know that on the farm you are not likely to die of hunger, and once there is life, there is hope :) . I have a colleague that told me his own worst case scenario was that he’ll become a driver – since he loves to drive. What I have learnt is that except you are willing to ask yourself mind boggling questions, you will not make mind boggling progress.  Those who go very high in life, are those who have dealt with the fear of falling. What if you fail? Continue reading →

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Adeolu Akinyemi
August 12, 2009

Thank You Dearie.


I want to use this opportunity to say a big “thank you” to you – my family and friends for the deluge of calls, mails, messages and facebook wall greetings for my birthday. I had earlier planned that I will respond to everybody one by one, I actually started, but, with over 1000 people to reach, it became overwhelming. I have decided to dedicate a full post to all of you.

I have also wanted to do this earlier, but my packing and preparing for this trip to Mauritius has made it difficult for me to get on with it. I’m currently in Mauritius, it’s been described as a paradise, as a beautiful french island on the east coast of Africa behind Magadascar. It’s all true and more! More about Mauritius later ;)

Being here on this island has not made it easy for me to communicate and update my blog, but even if i don’t finish this, I will ensure that today I post this article. The more I reflect on the advancement of my years, the more I try to answer the question of priority. What is really worth ones time, and what is a share waste of life and time. As I journey along, and meet with different types of people from around the world. It’s clearer to me day after day, that the essence of life is to make the most of it in serving a unique purpose. So today, while I thank you profusely, I’ll also like to challenge you deeply. Continue reading →

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Adeolu Akinyemi
May 27, 2009

Living is Dying


The process of living is the process of dying – literally. I usually tell people on their birthday’s that one year more is one year less. As we advance in years our life reserves get reduced and we embark on the process of dying. Just like the pages of a book, as the left piles up, the right dimishes until we hit the back cover and turn the book over. Living is dying.

It is however more interesting that in order then to live life fully, one must embrace the possibility of death. Full life is impeded by the fear of dying. The pages drag slowly, the moments lack zest, when we refuse to plunge or dive because we are afraid! We have only one shot at life, yes, but it’s going to end with death anyway, so why not live it fully with no regrets? Why not enjoy the journey since the destination is sure? Why not live it the way it was designed to be lived – with passion, excitement and fulfillment?

“People living deeply have no fear of death” – Anais Nin

I shudder at the statistics of people who really live deeply? Only a few percentage of people ever live beyond ordinary lives. Many of us unconciously live with the template of Solomon Grundi, our lives follow a predictable sequence. We wake up early every morning and engage in a race to work and back. Our key motivation is not more life, but the fear of not losing the one that we have. We race to work not because of passion, love or excitement, but because to put food on the table we think we must! We hope that maybe one day we will live our dreams, one day we will suddenly have a rush of courage and give up who we are for what we are capable of becoming. One day comes one day late, and then you are late and it’s late. Yank off your life from the slow road guarded by fear, move into the lane where life is rich and adventurous. It’s not a road void of challenges, nay, but it’s exciting and full of stories. It’s also empowering and capable of actually making you a guiding light for thousands or millions of prisoners of fear.

Here are 5 things you can do to live life more fully. Continue reading →

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Adeolu Akinyemi
May 8, 2009

Freedom!


Now I know why I have not been writing so frequently! There is regularly a clash of thoughts in my mind for having to write about something and speak about something else, and when the writing and the speaking need to happen on the same day, it’s tough. Today for example, I had made up my mind that I will write about “Freedom”, but in a few hours from now as well, I will be with the GTBank training school to talk about “Personal Effectiveness and Life Mastery”, then tomorrow morning I’m sharing a platform with Great Leaders (Rev Sam Adeyemi, Mrs. Ibukun Awosika, Pastor Ben Akabueze and Mazi Sam Ohunabunwa) to talk about “Character in Career and Business” (9th May, 10am – Daystar, 71 Oregun Road, Kudirat Abiola Way). As soon as I’m done from there, I head for another seminar where I speak about Financial Freedom and share a business opportunity (9th May, 2pm&4pm -Generis Solutions, 3rd Floor Oluwatobi House, 71 Allen Avenue, Ikeja), as soon as that is done, I begin to put finishing touches to my presentation for Good Tidings Bible Church, Abuja on Wednesday on “Entrepreneurship” (13th May, 5:30pm - Good Tidings Bible Church International, Kingdom Centre Plot 125 Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala Way, After Julius Berger Headquarters, Utako, Abuja). Then I have a number of other seminars in Abuja, come back to lagos for another one on the weekend and start finalizing my preparations to head for Malaysia.

Thinking about all that needs to go on today, and then tomorrow is sufficient to create a writers block. Mixed with that also is my desire to really make a comment about the Ekiti Re-Run fiasco! If I however write too many thoughts in one post, I can get accused of being desultory. This worries me, but I guess like today’s topic, I simply need to set myself free of the encumberances created by expectations and standards, and speak from my heart, exactly the way the words flow :) . I’ll try to stick to the topic of freedom, while I use the key things I must express myself on as examples. Let’s together see what is capable of building up. Continue reading →

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Adeolu Akinyemi
April 22, 2009

Anatomy of Laziness


 

When the lazy man yawns the market women hear

The lazy Man likes to prolong action, he wishes that it rains so he can sleep

It’s no use telling a lazy man not to sleep, the day of his shame is nearer than ever.

 

The lazy man hears about a sumptuous meal of pounded yam, and draws a chair

He hears of a journey to the farm and carelessly throws away the cutlass

The lazy man cannot strike the palm tree for wine

Neither can he shoot at the dove for meat.

 

The lazy man gets to the palm tree and opens his mouth

Yes, it must drop for free!

 

What you have just read about is my conversion to English of a poem I learnt in Yoruba class in Secondary School. Let me give you the raw form so that just in case you understand the language it can make some sense to you. If you don’t understand Yoruba, please feel free to skip this part. Continue reading →

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Adeolu Akinyemi
April 16, 2009

Is Your Future Bright?


Once upon a time a team of young people came together to have a discussion about their future. They were in their early teens, and they seemed in a hurry to know what their future held for them. The imagined and postulated on what was possible and what was not, who will likely become what and all what not. While they rambled and rumbled, an elderly woman passed by and overheard their discussions and arguments about the future.

The old woman slowed down until they noticed her and kept quiet. With a shrill voice slightly more than a wisper, she looked one of them in the eye, and asked them a question that got them all puzzled, “Is your future bright?” Not knowing whether to answer for himself, answer for everybody or not answer at all, the silence gradually grew to wispers and and sign language. Haven gotten them where she wanted them to be, she went ahead to ask them which of them was willing to look into her crystal ball to see his/her future. The reaction that ensued reminds me of about four years ago, when I was presented with a similar opportunity in Poland, questions within a wide range fly around in your head, let’s not go there. After a while, they joked and heckled and they brazed up and decided to take a peek into their futures. 

The Old woman brought out a crystal ball, but first asked them a few questions. “What do you want to become?”, “What is your dream?”, “What have you done about your dream?”, “What do you plan to do?” After they answered the questions, he showed them the crystal ball, and explained to them what she could see. Continue reading →

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Adeolu Akinyemi
February 26, 2009

Beyond the Reach of Fear


 

There is an experiment that I read about that opened my eyes to the truth about Fear. I’ll narrate the story to you and guide you into my understanding of the inner workings of fear and how to break away from limiting mind sets. There is nothing that stops living a full and fulfilling life like fear. Fear shackles, holds back, and paralyzes good initiatives. Many of our best ideas have never seen the light of day because of fear. Many of us are living way less than our possibilities because of fear. Many of us are stuck with Jobs we don’t like, relationships we don’t enjoy, dreams we haven’t birthed, desires we don’t express, all because of fear. The fear of the unknown, the fear of being wrong, the fear of failing, the fear of falling, the fear of poverty, the fear of isolation. Fear! If you can break free from the hold of fear, not only will your words be motivating, your life will be inspiring. When we break lose from our fears, we unconsciously liberate others around us to do the same! 

How fear works is quite interesting, and I think this little experiment clarifies it. Imagine a long flat board, 100 meters long, and 1 meter wide (1 meter is a little more than 3 rulers and for 100 meters, think about the track in secondary school) Imagine it lying on the ground, and you are asked to walk on it without moving off it at any point. If the picture of this is clear in your mind, walking along this board for 100 meters should be a piece of cake. In fact, you should be able to almost close your eyes and run on it. Right? Now imagine that this same flat board, was lifted up to the height of a sky scraper and fixed between two sky scrapers for you to walk on? Imagine, it and ask if you would? The truth is, you will be a lot more reluctant to walk, the board has not changed, it was the same board you would have run on confidently a few mins ago. But all of a sudden now, you are afraid, the fact that it is high up is allowing you to be clouded by the possibilities of what might happen, you are suddenly thinking more about the consequences of falling than the prospects of walking or even running. This is the way fear works, it takes your eyes off possibilities into the real of consequences. You begin to imagine things that may and will never happen, and it stops you dead in your tracks. Fear is the greatest road block to success, and except you learn to live above and in spite of your fears you are doomed! Doomed to mediocrity, doomed to average, doomed to live out a frustrated and unfulfilling existence. If you don’t face your fears, it will back you down into the corners of timidity, batter you into cowardice and leave you an underachiever. We need to understand fear and free ourselves of it’s grip, here is how. Continue reading →

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